Share and Follow
Joshua Williams is pictured after taking steroids, days before competing a bodybuilding competition
A former bodybuilder who doubled his size by using anabolic steroids says the drugs ruined his relationships and transformed him from a caring person to an ‘extremely aggressive’ thug who punched holes in walls.
Joshua Antonio Williams, from Auckland, New Zealand, was lured by a friend into injecting steroids to bolster his chances of success in bodybuilding competitions.
However, it only led to uncontrollable outbursts of anger and anxiety – often referred to as ‘roid rage’ – and he ended up completely alienated from his friends.
As well as destroying relationships, his modelling career ended and was left with a litany of physical problems – from hair loss to depression and anxiety.
‘I had a buddy who said “we have to do this if we want to place”, and we were good friends and I trusted him,’ Mr Williams, now 28, told Daily Mail Australia.
‘I thought this is what I need to take if I want to place in the top five. I do this and compete, or I don’t place at all. I’m committing to this, I’m going to have a shot.’
He placed first and second in two competitions within the first six months, but had twice the normal amount of testosterone surging through his body and, as a result, was consumed with rage.
Mr Williams lost friends, his romantic relationships became strained, and his modelling career plummeted because he was deemed too muscly for ads and magazines.
When he stopped taking the drugs after about two years, he learned the hard way that people who stop using steroids lose 95 per cent of their muscle mass.
Mr Williams now works as a personal trainer and says it’s very possible to create an ‘amazing physique’ naturally, and wanted to share his steroid experience to stop others from making the same mistake.
Before steroids: Joshua Williams was 21 when a friend offered to show him how to use steroids
After steroids: Josh Williams is pictured after winning a bodybuilding competition when he was 21
Mr Williams said he did lot of research before taking steroids because he wanted to know how to use the drugs safely, and then decided to take the plunge because he believed he stood no chance in competitions otherwise.
‘Bodybuilding wasn’t like it is now, where you can compete in clean competitions and everyone is drug tested,’ he said.
‘Back when I was starting out, that didn’t really exist.’
He ‘felt pretty sketchy’ injecting the drugs at first, but said the stigma was taken away because it became a normalised part of the competition.
His performance in the gym went ‘through the roof’ within just four weeks, and he doubled his size within about six months.
He explained that bodybuilders strive to earn a ‘pro card’ which gives them entry to an elite circle of professional bodybuilders who make an income from the sport.
Despite placing in two contests, he did not achieve that because officials said they had given out too many pro cards that year.
‘I did lots of modelling and underwear shoots before that, but as soon as I started taking steroids I got way too big for commercial photography so I parted ways with my agent,’ he said.
Josh Williams is pictured with his girlfriend, former Playboy model Sarah Harris, after a competition. They started seeing each other when he was taking steroids
Joshua Williams is pictured working out at the gym, while on steroids at the age of 21
‘There’s not much work in fitness modelling for agencies in New Zealand so I was mainly just training at the time and building a fitness platform.’
However, the steroids completely changed his personality.
He was losing money as personal training clients abandoned him, and he was ‘burning bridges’ with friends who became fearful of his angry outbursts including punching holes in walls.
Read Related Also: Russia backflips on UN-brokered grain deal over ship attack claim
‘When you’re young, you’re going out and partying more and drinking, and the alcohol mixed with the testosterone meant I was getting in fights,’ he said.
‘That made me even more depressed and I had social anxiety and people were scared to be around me.’
Aside from his newfound anger issues, Mr Williams said he had hair loss and ‘testicular atrophy’.
He experienced huge results in just six months, and gained places in two bodybuilding competitions
After steroids: Josh Williams is pictured at the age of 28, having not touched steroids in years
‘That was one of the worst things,’ he said. ‘Your testicles shrink and become peanut size and it’s emasculating.’
While that issue resolved itself once he stopped taking steroids, he was faced with a range of other health problems as his body reacted to the sudden drop in testosterone levels.
He had an extremely low sex drive which took months to come back, and still has slight stretch marks on his chest due to his rapid increase in mass.
Mr Williams also ended up with gynomastecia – a condition where male breast tissue swells due to hormonal imbalances.
‘Mine wasn’t bad enough to need surgery, but even to this day I have a little bit and it still bothers me,’ he said.
Beyond the physical effects, Mr Williams felt depressed and unmotivated.
Joshua Williams (pictured with his partner, Sarah) wants to discourage others from making his mistakes
Joshua Williams (pictured now) said it’s very possible to create an ‘amazing physique) without steroids
‘I felt like everything had been stripped from me – all the hours and hard work and extreme levels that you push yourself to, and then I would look in the mirror and see all that progress gone,’ he said.
He also had suicidal thoughts and could not train without becoming extremely fatigued – an issue which took him about six months to overcome.
Mr Williams wanted to put his experiences with steroids out into the public to counteract the effects of platforms like Instagram promoting ‘guys with crazy physiques’ to young and impressionable boys.
‘Someone like that (in the photo) will have very low body fat, and he might be one in 10,000, but he pops up on your feed and our brains want to achieve that,’ the 28-year-old said.
‘Those guys might look healthy, but they’re pushing themselves to the limits. Don’t be fooled by social media.’
He said it’s very possible to create an ‘amazing physique’ naturally, by focusing on proper food consumption and committing to training in a healthy and sustainable way.
