I was called 'fat and lazy' in past relationship
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Valerie Bertinelli is “healing” from a past relationship with a “narcissist,” in which she was called “fat and lazy.”

The actress told her Instagram followers on Tuesday that she is doing therapy to “get over” her trauma and discover “what made [her] tolerate the intolerable.”

The 62-year-old explained, “By searching for that, by healing that, I have just put a better life forward for myself, a more joyful, a more happy life. … I finally feel like I deserve it.”

Bertinelli clarified on her Story that she is “long over the narcissist,” adding, “I have moved on from the s–tty part, and I am going into the really, really hard part that has the most benefits to it.”

The “One Day at a Time” alum’s social media upload came shortly after she posted a video about stumbling upon shocking texts.

In Monday’s footage, Bertinelli asked herself, “Why did you let them stay after finding the texts?”

Valerie Bertinelli recalled being told she was “fat and lazy” in a past relationship.
Getty Images

She replied, “I don’t know.”

While the Golden Globe winner did not go into detail on the alleged messages, she did take to her Story to describe battling feelings of unworthiness.

Valerie Bertinelli films video in car in stripes
Bertinelli has “move[d] on” with the help of therapy and journaling.

Valerie Bertinelli gets emotional filming video in car
Bertinelli has “move[d] on” with the help of therapy and journaling.


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Valerie Bertinelli wears orange top
Bertinelli has “move[d] on” with the help of therapy and journaling.

Valerie Bertinelli wears orange top in video
Bertinelli has “move[d] on” with the help of therapy and journaling.


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“I have been screamed at so many times and told how fat and lazy I am,” the Food Network star recalled (via People). “I realize … that was someone just projecting on me whatever they needed to project on me, but my part in all of it was believing it, and I don’t believe it anymore.

“But it still doesn’t stop the feelings from coming up and the hurt,” she continued. “So that’s what we’re doing today. We’re feeling the feelings and letting them go. Giving them a voice.”

Valerie Bertinelli smiles in orange top and jeans
“I am long over the narcissist,” she said.

The Daytime Emmy winner concluded by speaking to her followers who have experience with a significant other trying to “dim [their] light.”

She advised, “F–k ’em. Shine bright.”

Valerie Bertinelli gets hug on red carpet from Tom Vitale

Tom Vitale sits beside Valerie Bertinelli
Bertinelli was married to Tom Vitale from 2011 to 2022.


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Valerie Bertinelli wears lace dress posing on red carpet with Tom Vitale
Bertinelli was married to Tom Vitale from 2011 to 2022.


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When an Instagram user told Bertinelli to “move on,” she replied, “I have. … I find through journaling, therapy and especially humor that I am healing even faster.”

The “Hot in Cleveland” alum has been married twice, to rocker Eddie Van Halen in 1981 and financial planner Tom Vitale in 2011. She shares son Wolfgang, 31, with the late musician.

In November 2021, Bertinelli filed for a legal separation from Vitale.

When their divorce was finalized the following year, the “Kids Baking Championship” host celebrated the “second best day” of her life via Instagram.

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