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“Crosswalk Signals Hacked in Several Cities, Leading to Hilarious Outcomes for Bezos, Musk, and Zuck”

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Bezos, Musk, Zuck—Someone Hacked the Crosswalk Signals in Multiple Cities and the Results Are Too Funny
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To wit, some wiseguy (or girl) has apparently hacked into crosswalk signals in cities like Seattle and Palo Alto and given them the voices of prominent folks in Big Tech—namely Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, and Amazon founder Jeff Bezos. Instead of some weird computer voice telling you what to do, you can listen to (a presumably AI) Zuck give you his thoughts about artificial intelligence:

“Hi, this is Mark Zuckerberg, but real ones call me ‘The Zuck.’ It’s normal to feel uncomfortable or even violated as we forcefully insert AI into every … facet of your conscious experience,” the voice said. “And I just want to assure you, you don’t need to worry because there’s absolutely nothing you can do to stop it. Anyways, see ya.”

Musk meanwhile, just wants to be this girl’s friend:

In Seattle, however, the authorities don’t think it’s funny:

They have a point, but the prank is pretty original, I gotta admit. I mean who doesn’t want to hear Jeff Bezos warn about taxes on the rich while they’re waiting for the light to change?  

“Hi, I’m Jeff Bezos, this crosswalk is sponsored by Amazon Prime with an important message,” the message said. “Please don’t tax the rich. Otherwise, all the other billionaires will move to Florida, too.”

Who did this—and why—are questions that remain unanswered. 

Another question to think about: Do those buttons actually do anything? When I’m at a crosswalk with my wife, and she keeps pressing it, I like to annoy her by saying, “You know there’s nothing in there, right? It’s empty—the button is just there to make you feel better. You will wait for the light to change for the exact same amount of time regardless of whether or not you push it.”

She usually gives me the side eye and tells me I’m full of it—but what if I’m right? Food for thought.

It reminds me of another situation where a friend wondered whether there was just one big tank under the gas station and it fed the same fuel to both the premium and regular-grade hoses. “Don’t be preposterous!” I said. “They would never do such a thing.” 

Then, a few years later, I read about a station that got busted for doing exactly that.

Just saying.

I’ll leave you with one more (warning: profanity at the end):

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