Saturday Night Live kicked off its 51st season with a fiery cold open taking aim Pete Hegseth and Donald Trump. 

Colin Jost kicked off the show with a sharp parody of Hegseth’s viral address to high-ranking army officials at Quantico, Virginia, earlier this week, criticizing the presence of ‘wokeness’ in the US military.

Jost portrayed Hegseth as a boozy frat commander hellbent on rewriting military culture. 

Jost quipped, ‘Our military will now abide by the same rules as a typical frat party. No plus-size women, and if you’re a hefty guy, you better be incredibly hilarious!’

Jost’s skit inspired by Hegseth was brief, as SNL quickly pivoted to satirize Trump, featuring James Austin Johnson’s grand entrance with his impression of the former president.

‘We love the military, the skinny ones, the strong ones, even the ones who don’t vote for me – which is none of them, by the way, tremendous support,’ Johnson’s Trump jabbed. 

As Trump, Johnson pretended to roast the show, ribbing SNL for it’s ratings and resorting to having Jost open the show. 

‘Off to a rough start got the update guy doing the open,’ Johnson joked. 

Jost retorted with comments about Trump’s gripes with late-night television, following the cancellation of Stephen Colbert’s Late Show and the drama surrounding Jimmy Kimmel Live!.

Saturday Night Live Season 51 debuted with a harsh portrayal of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth and President Trump, played by Colin Jost and James Austin Johnson 

The sketch comedy show poked fun at a recent speech Hegseth gave to military officials at Marine Corps Base Quantico in Virginia 

Jost made fun of Hegseth’s comments about ‘fat generals and admirals in the halls of the Pentagon’ 

Kimmel’s show returned to screens less than a week after ABC affiliate stations Nexstar and Sinclair announced it would be canceled indefinitely. 

The conflict sparked widespread debates about free speech, the future of late-night television, and the authority of the FCC. 

Johnson, as Trump, referenced the controversy with a warning that SNL ‘better be on their best behavior, otherwise they’ll have to answer to my attack dog at the FCC, Brandon Carr’. 

Mikey Day portraying FCC chairman Brendan Carr then slithered onto the stage after hearing his name being mistakenly referred to him as ‘Brandon’. 

The imposter Trump then issued a warning to the late-night TV realm: ‘Remember: Daddy’s watching!’

Johnson also snuck in a joke about the mysterious bruise that was seen on the president’s hand in August. 

‘I’m just here keeping my eye on SNL, making sure they don’t do anything too mean about me, and they better be careful, because I know late-night TV like the back of my hand,’ Johnson said. 

He showcased a makeup-caked hand that mirrored Trump’s bruise, telling the audience: ‘Not looking great right now. Gonna cover this up for the rest of my life’. 

SNL also poked fun at their fellow comedians who decided to participate in the Saudi-backed Riyadh Comedy Festival.

Johnson joked that he knows ‘late-night TV like the back of my hand’ before showcasing a bruise 

The joke referenced a bruise seen of Trump’s hand in August 

Johnson asked Jost why he wasn’t performing at the show with his friends, which included former SNL castmate Pete Davidson and four-time host Dave Chappelle. 

Jost joked that he ‘didn’t get an offer’ to join the lineup.

‘Well, that’s sad. We like the Saudi’s because they like to saw deez journalists in half,’ Johnson’s Trump responded. 

SNL has been on summer break, so the show’s grand return had to catch up on months of content. 

‘I had a great summer break. I took a little vacation time for golf, and travel, and STROKE… kidding, or not, either way, you’ll never know,’ Johnson said, echoing Trump’s tones.

He continued that, despite the government shutdown, the administration was planning to start a new war in Venezuela, a reference to Hegseth’s announcement on Friday that the military issued a strike on a boat off the coast of Venezuela. 

Mikey Day also made a Cold Open appearance as FCC chair Brendan Carr, referencing the controversy surrounding the cancelation of Jimmy Kimmel’s late night show 

Johnson concluded the Cold Open with a joke about illegal immigration, asking the crew to ‘keep an eye on Marcello,’ referencing Latino cast member Marcello Hernández.

The Cold Open wasn’t the only segment that got political during the season premiere; Jost returned to Weekend Update later in the show with his partner, Michael Che. 

Che referenced recent news about peace discussions between Israel and Hamas, joking that you could ‘tell Trump wrote the plan himself,’ before cutting to a photo of a poem allegedly written to disgraced pedophile Jeffrey Epstein with Trump’s signature.

The White House has repeatedly denied claims that Trump wrote the letter or had a friendship with Epstein. 

A separate sketch featuring host Bad Bunny, Chloe Fineman, Sarah Sherman, and Mikey Day also referenced Epstein. 

Sherman’s character joked: ‘I’m on the Epstein list, yeah, because I was on a JetBlue flight that had a connection on his island. Sue me!’ 

Another sketch including Sarah Sherman, Chloe Fineman, Mikey Day, and host Bad Bunny roasted Sydney Sweeney’s viral American Eagle jeans ad and made an Epstein joke 

Bad Bunny hosted the season premiere with musical guest Doja Cat. This season will also see Amy Poehler and Sabrina Carpenter step into the roles 

Fineman’s character was then asked how work’s been, to which she responded: ‘Well not great… I wrote the Sydney Sweeney American Eagle jeans ad’.

Bad Bunny hosted the season premiere following news that he would headline the Super Bowl Halftime Performance, which prompted threats from Immigration and Customs Enforcement that officers would be in attendance. 

‘I think everybody is happy about it — even Fox News,’ the host joked in his opening monologue. 

Musical guest Doja Cat made her SNL debut on the show. Amy Poehler is set to host the show next week, followed by Sabrina Carpenter.