An American Sign Language (ASL) speaker with a deaf father is fed up with his wife’s refusal to learn ASL. 

He posted about their situation on Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum. His father is deaf, so he has always spoken ASL. Although he and his wife visit his dad every other weekend, she was never very interested in learning ASL.

When the Reddit poster volunteered to teach ASL, he met a fellow speaker named Alex, and they became fast friends. This didn’t go over well with the Reddit poster’s wife. 

“One of the other volunteers there was a non verbal man, Alex (29m), who I found an easy comradery with,” he wrote. 

“We began hanging out and during the time we would spend at my place, I wouldn’t translate even if my wife was in the room (other than their introductions and small talk) because Alex never requested I do so.” 

But after a few weeks, the Reddit poster’s wife began to complain. Because he wasn’t translating, his wife felt left out of his and Alex’s conversation. She even accused him and Alex of “keeping secrets.” 

“I politely apologized and went on to have a discussion with Alex about this whole thing. He said he felt it was rude that my wife never even so much as made an effort to learn ASL, especially since I had very close family who were deaf, so he had no interest in conversing with her,” he explained. 

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“And honestly, I kind of agreed with him. It didn’t rub me the wrong way at first, but now that she’s complaining about being left out despite having years to learn at least some of this new language feels silly to me.”

He agreed to continue translating between his dad and wife but not with Alex. His wife is still “angry” about it. 

Redditors thought Alex was right about the wife in this scenario. 

“This is so rude it’s unbelievable. Inexcusable for someone being the only member of a family to make no effort after years. Just rude,” a user commented. 

“Your wife is not ‘left out because of your choices’ she’s left out because of hers,” another said. 

“She has placed herself in no position to get upset,” a person wrote.