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Maybe 2011 NBA MVP Derrick Rose should live up to his nickname, Winnie the Pooh, and stick to snacking on sweet, harmless honey. In 2008, the point guard fell victim to the pointy blade of a knife and had to skip a practice with the Chicago Bulls. “I was cutting up some food, and I laid on a knife getting lazy in bed. I went to get a bottle of water, came back, forgot the knife was there, then sat down and sliced my arm,” Rose recalled, per the Chicago Tribune. The food was an apple, so at least he was snacking healthy. (He did, however, disprove that old adage about an apple a day keeping the doctor away.)
Professional athletes and blades are a bad combination. In 2001, San Diego Padres pitcher Adam Eaton was the only one with a knife when he picked a fight with some new DVDs, but their MLB pro-proof packaging won. Eaton accidentally stabbed himself in the abdomen trying to open the DVDs, and the wound required two stitches. “You learn when you’re little to cut away from yourself,” he later told AP of his error (via Los Angeles Times).
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Then there’s Jeremy Affeldt, who had to undergo surgery after using a knife to pry frozen meat patties apart. “I should have used hot water,” said the regretful San Francisco Giants pitcher of his season-ending injury in a 2011 AP interview (via ESPN).