Supreme Court hears 'Trump too small' trademark case
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Donald Trump defends the size of his hands in an on-air debate with Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla., during the 2016 presidential campaign. (Screengrab via YouTube/ABC news).

The justices heard oral arguments Wednesday in Vidal v. Elster as they decide whether the phrase “Trump too small” should be given the same federal trademark protection as clothing brand name “FUCT,” band name “Thunderpussy,” or perhaps even the phrase “Trump is a Thief.” The justices appeared far more united than has been typical in recent memory, with most coalescing around a likely ruling against allowing the phrase to be trademarked.

During the 2016 presidential campaign, then-candidate Donald Trump began calling opponent Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla., “little Rubio.” In response, Rubio told a crowd that while his opponent was indeed taller, Trump had disproportionately small hands for a man his height. Rubio then joked, “And you know what they say about guys with small hands.”

The joke took hold and in 2017, California attorney and political activist Steve Elster tried to get the phrase “Trump too small” printed on T-shirts. The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) refused on the grounds that the Lanham Act does not permit the registering of any mark that “identif[ies] a particular living individual” without that person’s written consent.

Elster now argues that the provision is illegal viewpoint discrimination: because Trump could register this mark himself while Elster cannot, it follows that only messages approved by Trump (or theoretically, any other candidate) would get legal protection. To underscore the point, Elster notes in his filing that the office had allowed registration of “Joe 2020,” “Biden President,” and “Hillary for America,” but not to register “No Joe in 2024,” “Hillary for Prison 2016,” or “Impeach 46.” Therefore, Elster says, the proper test for constitutionality is strict scrutiny — the highest bar to clear.

Arguing to support the Trademark Office’s decision — and against Elster’s right to trademark the derogatory phrase — is the Biden administration. It says that the statute should not be considered a restriction on speech but a condition on a government benefit.

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