DEAR ABBY: My first cousin recently sent me a Facebook message after 10 months of no communication. She apologized for the lack of contact and mentioned a birth announcement she wanted to send me. What surprises me the most is that I had no idea she was even pregnant.

I contacted her father, who said the child was born two months ago. This cousin is not a teen or unwed. She’s a professional and married.

This message left me feeling confused, not just because I was unaware of her pregnancy, but also because it didn’t actually announce the birth – it only mentioned that an announcement would be sent in the mail.

Frankly, I’m confused and not interested in feigning sudden interest in a situation I was excluded from knowing about.

I can’t help but wonder if the intention behind the anticipated announcement is to solicit gifts, especially since it is happening months after the child was born. What are your thoughts on this situation? — LEFT IN THE DARK

DEAR LEFT: Heaven only knows what may have happened with your cousin. There may be much more to this story than the fact that you were “excluded.”

There may have been problems with your cousin’s pregnancy or with her baby, which your relatives were reluctant to share. Please don’t start a grudge unless you have facts that indicate otherwise.

Act appropriately, send a little something for that baby, along with a supportive message, and you will have fewer regrets. 

DEAR ABBY: My youngest son, age 27, has been clean and sober for two years, having survived the horrible addiction of fentanyl. I helped nurse him back to health. It wasn’t easy, but he is alive today.

However, with this sobriety, a new person is emerging who is critical of and condescending to his siblings and to me.

He finds flaws in all of us that “disgust him,” and therefore, he has chosen to no longer engage with us. 

He claims he is telling “his truth” and only “right or wrong” exists for him anymore. He has no problem with hurting our feelings as that is “our problem” and he “won’t cater to society’s norms anymore.”

I come to him from a place of love and acceptance, and I tell him this all the time. He tells me I’m delusional and living a lie. 

I don’t know what to do or say anymore. He’s willing to walk away from our family if we can’t come to a place of “mutual understanding,” which is HIS way.

I’m about ready to walk away from him because I’m tired of his tirades and his putting everyone down. What should I do? — DISILLUSIONED MOM IN MINNESOTA

DEAR MOM: Is it possible that in order to gain his sobriety, your son joined some sort of cultlike program? His treatment of you and his siblings is neither normal nor acceptable.

If you prefer to save yourself the heartache and end his verbal abuse, you have the right to distance yourself until he straightens out. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.