Maya Henry has been mostly quiet since Liam Payne’s shocking death in October last year, but after months of fans pushing for a more detailed response to the tragedy, she broke her silence today with a statement to Rolling Stone Magazine.

Months before Liam’s death, Maya released a book detailing some dark aspects of her relationship with him, and fans weren’t happy about it. She’s now sharing her side of things and how she loved him deeply, but that doesn’t change the fact that she was hurt badly during their time together.

Maya Henry Opened Up About How Liam Hurt Her

While she was clearly saddened and grieving the One Direction singer’s death, Maya didn’t sugarcoat anything and was candid about how she believed their relationship had turned toxic and she felt Liam had hurt her deeply even after they broke up.

“This was someone I loved very much,” she said. “Initially, it was the drug use and addictions that tore us apart. Anyone who has been with an addict understands how difficult that is. While I loved him deeply, he did things that hurt me in ways I’ll never fully understand, and he continued to hurt me years after we broke up.”

For Maya, Liam was wonderful when he was sober, but she can’t forget how unsafe he made her feel due to his substance abuse.

“On drugs, he became someone unrecognizable — so different from his sober self. I kept hoping each incident would be a wake-up call for him to get help, but it never was. I tried to be there for him. I loved him so much that I convinced myself I could fix things.”

While she partially puts the blame on Liam, in her statement, Maya also acknowledges that she could have reacted differently and protected herself, but at the time, they were both absorbed in a toxic relationship.

“I put myself in situations that were unsafe and harmful, ignoring every red flag. I knew there were parts of himself he was struggling with — parts of his identity he wasn’t ready to fully face, even within our relationship.”

Sources Say Maya Chose Not To Report Liam’s Allegedly Violent Behavior

Maya declined Rolling Stone‘s request to answer specific questions, but sources close to the model shared some insight into the darkest sides of her relationship with Liam.

Allegedly, she could have called the police due to Liam’s outbursts, but because she knew he was dealing with trauma, she chose not to.

“Liam had a lot of deeply personal trauma Maya was aware of that occurred well before he joined [One Direction],” the source explained.

“When he got violent, the thought was never that he should be sent to jail. He needed help, or to get support from an institution, so he could get to the root of his problems.”

In the end, however, the situation got out of hand, and after a 4-year-long on and off relationship, she decided it was better to part ways. While she’s still dealing with the aftermath of everything they went through, she’s learning to let go.

“In the end, it wasn’t just the betrayals or the addictions that broke us — it was the realization that I had spent years in something that was never what I thought it was. I don’t fault him for his struggles,” she finished her statement.