The French word for it is ‘flagornerie’. Means ‘laying it on with a trowel’. And there is no man better for it than the French president, Emmanuel Macron, who can make the most blatant exercise in sucking-up sound ornate and pretty and somehow rather exquisitely Louis Quatorze.

M Macron, brave chap, became the first European leader to enter the Trump lair since Big Donald’s re-election. The most pressing matter was Ukraine. 

‘After speaking with President Trump,’ said Macron, flashing his sideburns and lifting a haw-he-haw Gallic eyebrow, ‘I fully believe there is a path forward.’

The Frenchman was confident enough of his charm offensive that he stuck a hand in his pocket. They always do that when they think their chatting-up is starting to work.

Old Trump stood beside him at the White House press conference, grimacing like a tortoise, either from concentration or from ennui, for ‘cher Emmanuel’ had rather been going on for a while. Things looked a bit sticky when Mr Trump started tapping his left index finger against his lectern.

The US President had opened proceedings in his habitual self-polishing manner, claiming that the war would never have happened if he had been in power at the time and that ‘I have been elected to restore common sense to the world’. 

He added: ‘My greatest legacy will be as a peacemaker and as a unifier.’ I have a suspicion he only says this sort of thing to annoy Hillary Clinton.

Having slandered Ukraine’s President Zelensky as a dictator just a few days ago, Mr Trump now focused his ire on the Biden administration. Zelensky was back in favour and was possibly going to visit soon to sign an agreement on mineral rights. ‘

US president Donald Trump (L) greets French president Emmanuel Macron as he arrives at the White House for a meeting on Monday

Mr Macron, brave chap, became the first European leader to enter the Trump lair since Big Donald’s re-election (pictured together in the Oval Office)

Mr Trump’s final words to the French President were: ‘Say hello to your beautiful wife’ (pictured together in the Oval Office)

We’ll fix it all up,’ said Mr Trump. ‘All I know is deals.’ He added: ‘Stop the killing now.’ Yeah, baby, and let me make a killing instead!

M Macron sprayed his host with treacle, calling him ‘dear Donald’ and reminding him ‘you know how much friendship I have shown you’. 

There was more than one ‘I thank you, Mr President’ and a couple of ‘I say this with great sinceritys’. M Macron repeatedly stressed that the Europeans would soon be doing a lot more of the heavy-lifting on defending the Continent from the Russians. Mr Trump heard this without expression. Perhaps he will only believe it when it happens.

‘No one wants to live in a world where it is the law of the strongest,’ averred M Macron. Mr Trump gave one of his little sideways shrugs at that, as if he could perfectly live with such a scenario. 

When the event ended the two men embraced and Mr Trump’s final words were: ‘Say hello to your beautiful wife’. Words no one ever said to Ted Heath.

Earlier the two presidents shook hands outside the White House and M Macron discovered afterwards, perhaps to his surprise, that he still had some shoulder ligaments intact. 

Trump-Macron handshakes are like no other. Over the years they have become a battle for supremacy, more a form of arm-wrestling and power-patting (when politicians try to ‘own’ the other party by patting them) than courteous greeting. 

US president Donald Trump and French president Emmanuel Macron shake hands in the Oval Office on Monday 

The French president (pictured) waved his spare (or only remaining) hand at the cameras. A greeting or a desperate signal for medical attention?

Who can forget the 29-second classic cruncher in 2017 when Mr Trump tugged so hard that his French counterpart was left balancing on one foot? In Paris last year M Macron went for a double air-kiss and ended up shaking Mr Trump’s right elbow.

This time Mr Trump pulled in M Macron firmly. The Frenchman fought back by trying to retrieve his ground but Mr Trump was having none of that and yanked him sharply a second time. It was like seeing a water-skier being hauled out of the shallows by a powerful speed-boat. 

The French president waved his spare (or only remaining) hand at the cameras. A greeting or a desperate signal for medical attention?

When Sir Keir Starmer visits Washington later this week he may be advised to give is right hand a liberal application of Vaseline. Lord Mandelson should have a tub.