221

Credit: Instarimages

Jax Taylor revealed when he began using drugs and when he hit rock bottom during an interview on Tuesday.

As the 45-year-old Vanderpump Rules alum confirmed his cocaine addiction and two stints in rehab, Jax explained how his childhood impacted his adult life, dished on his strained relationship with his estranged wife, Brittany Cartwright, 35, and admitted to wanting to reach out to recovering addict Lala Kent, 34, while also discussing drinking during filming and sharing his fears about the upcoming second season of The Valley.

“I am an addict. I have substance issues, primarily with cocaine. I’ve been dealing with this for the last, on and off since I was 23,” Jax revealed on the March 4 episode of Bravo’s Hot Mic podcast. “There are times where I would stop doing it and there were times where I would go heavy on it.”

“I think a lot of people who watched Vanderpump Rules over the years could kind of tell that I was on something. Obviously, production and [other] people, they didn’t know what I was doing. Everything I was doing was on my own, but I was just on that train, and I couldn’t get off,” he added.

According to Jax, he couldn’t do cocaine without drinking, so he gave up both and is now nearly 90 days sober — the “longest [he’s] ever gone” since age 21.

“It feels really, really good. But I just want to let people know: This is a really tough disease. It’s a really tough sickness,” he shared. “To come out and say that I have an addiction, that I have a sickness that I have to work on for the rest of my life is a really big deal for me … [And] it’s a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.”

Since getting honest with his addiction struggles, Jax has “worked really, really hard on [his] sobriety,” visiting rehab not once, but twice after hitting rock bottom amid his separation from Brittany.

“I would say my father’s death was the hardest year until this year. I’m going through a divorce right now, which is extremely difficult. When Brittany and I separated, that’s when the addiction got worse,” he explained. “I literally lost control. I kind of I think at a point, hit rock bottom, and I had to go to rehab.”

Looking back on his life, Jax said he’d been given “wiggle room” his whole life.

“I’ve been put on a pedestal. I’m the golden child in my family. It was always a slap on the wrist. I’ve never gotten in trouble for really anything,” he confessed.

As for his relationship with Brittany, Jax said things between them change “daily.”

“One day she’s happy, one day she’s mad. I never know what I’m gonna get with her. I walk on eggshells constantly,” he revealed, noting that he’s doing everything she’s asked, including going to rehab, attending therapy, and undergoing drug testing.

He’s also helping with their 3-year-old son, Cruz Michael Cauchi.

“I take care of my son as much as she allows me to,” Jax clarified. “I want to be in my son’s life, and I want to be in [her] life to some extent. That’s why I moved a mile away … I wanted to be a 5-minute drive in case [she] needed me.”

Still, there’s “a lot of animosity” and “a lot of hurt” between them.

“We haven’t been getting along for a very long time and it takes two,” he shared. “I just think we’ve been unhappy with our marriage for a long time, and I think we were just kind of sweeping it under the rug.”

Despite noting that it “takes two” to argue, Jax confessed to being a “self-sabotager” in “pretty much” all of his relationships.

“Instead of being a man and saying, ‘Listen, Brittany, I don’t think this relationship is going where it needs to go. We need to end it,’ I’ll just get angry and fight and make her leave me,” he explained. “And that’s what I did. I would constantly go out. I would constantly go on benders, I would constantly come home hungover or drunk, or the next day, and start a war, hoping she would leave me.”

Continuing on about Brittany, Jax said that while he loves her, there is no chance they’ll get back together.

“It would be just a ticking time bomb for the next fight,” he reasoned. 

He then admitted to being happy they never had more kids, saying, “Thank God.”

Reflecting on his time on Pump Rules, Jax said he and his castmates would often sneak away from production and drink.

“I would go off on my own. We would film a scene, and you have 30 minutes downtime. So most people go rest. I would go to a bar [and] get lit,” he revealed. “[Kristen Doute] would have a flask, [Stassi Schroeder] would have a flask. We would be in there getting ripped before a scene, and nobody knew where we were.”

According to Jax, they did so because they “weren’t allowed to drink during scenes.”

“They frowned [on it],” he confirmed of producers. 

Also speaking of Pump Rules, Jax said he was planning to reach out to Lala for help with his sobriety.

“The girls are all very Team Brittany right now, which is understandable, [but] I am going to reach out to Lala when I hit 100 days. I’m just gonna say, ‘Hey listen, I know you don’t like me right now. I get it. This has nothing to do with my relationship with Brittany and I, but I’m wondering if I can just talk to you about being sober because I know you were where I was — you were a trainwreck too, and you admit it,’” he disclosed.

With season two of The Valley impending, Jax said he was afraid of what the series would reveal.

“It gives me severe, severe anxiety. I feel like this will be the hardest year, season of my life,” he explained. “Personally, this is gonna be a very, very hard for so many reasons. I’m a father. I was married … I have huge, huge consequences for my actions now. I’m going through a public divorce. My child’s custody was on the line. These are big things.”

“I’m very, very scared, but that’s why I wanted to come out,” he added.

No word yet on a premiere date for The Valley season two.