The couple announced their first pregnancy loss on their podcast The Viall Files. “Currently as I sit here, today I’m actively miscarrying our second child,” Natalie said on the Jan. 29 episode, “and it has been the biggest heartbreak, I think, of my life.”

She said she had been spotting for a while before her first miscarriage, which occurred early in her pregnancy. “I went to go pee and it was like I gave birth,” she said. “I was screaming and crying and Nick ran into the bathroom. You just think like, ‘How are you supposed to stand up and flush this baby down the toilet?'”

Nick said he retrieved what she had passed for a burial. “As traumatic as it was, I hope the moms never have to do that themselves,” he said, “and I hope that all the dads out there are willing to do that.”

Natalie told her husband, “I’ve never been more heartbroken or sad but I know that I have a family that needs me and it’s what gets me out of bed every day. And I’m grateful for that and I love you so much.”