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DEAR ABBY: I am a 23-year-old student in college who is currently struggling to navigate through life and figure out my path. Despite my efforts to secure a part-time job and internship, I have been faced with continuous rejections and setbacks.
The pressure is mounting, particularly because my parents, who currently assist me with financial support for tuition and housing, are aging and will eventually need to retire from their jobs.
Compounding my worries is the fact that the field I have chosen is not commonly pursued within my cultural community, where individuals are often confined to certain predetermined roles. This factor has presented challenges in finding job prospects and establishing professional connections.
On top of that, I’m adjusting to a new culture that’s the opposite of what I’m used to. It’s my first time navigating such an environment, and I often feel left out or that I don’t fully understand certain things.
I’m afraid to bring this up with my parents, as it’s common in my culture for parents to provide for their children. I feel like I’m falling behind.
Feeling confused and misunderstood, my mind is at a crossroads, which adds to my anxiety. How can I start to find clarity and confidence in my situation? — A BIT LOST IN COLORADO
DEAR A BIT LOST: Many students find it difficult to adjust to college life. The fact that you come from another culture only adds to that.
Try reaching out to the dean of your department or talking to an adviser in the student counseling services to find the help you’re looking for.
If there are other students from your culture, they may also be able to help by explaining things to you. Do these things, and you may find out that you are not as lost as you fear you are.
DEAR ABBY: When I was still working, I decided not to tell anyone about the second home we purchased in 2018 as a weekend getaway. I kept my mouth shut because I didn’t want my boss to think I was rich and perhaps not give me a raise.
I recently retired and keep in touch with many former colleagues. I feel bad that I never told them and continue not to share with them where I go with my husband on weekends.
Should I fess up? If I tell them now, do I tell them I didn’t trust that they wouldn’t share the news with my boss?
Although I didn’t lie, I feel guilty for not sharing with them. What is your advice? — NERVOUS IN NEW JERSEY
DEAR NERVOUS: How relevant would this information be to your former co-workers?
You are entitled to a private life, and it isn’t necessary to reveal what financial assets you have to anyone beyond your accountant and your attorney. (And, of course, the IRS if they ask.)
Stop flogging yourself over something that is nobody’s beeswax. If you allude to the fact that you and your husband spent the weekend away from your primary dwelling, who is to know it wasn’t purchased after your retirement?
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.