If you’re unfamiliar with ‘gentle parenting’ you’ve probably not trawled through enough Reddit feeds. 

There’s plenty of debate around the benefits and drawbacks of the technique and it often gets mistaken for passive parenting. 

One woman on TikTok says parents need to stop using it as a way to excuse bad behavior.  

“We can tell if you gentle parent your kids,” she proclaims.  

“It leads to a full grown tapeworm.”

Tori says that the signs are all there. They scream, they hit and throw things. 

“Then you’re like ‘wow! You’re really big in your feelings right now, Sage,’ she mocks. 

“You know what? So was Ted Bundy.” 

She says she witnessed a child throwing a fork at his mother’s face at a restaurant. Something that should at least lead to a stern ‘no!’ 

“She was like ‘we don’t express frustration like that.’ Frustration. You’re raising Vlad the Impaler!” she recounted the interaction. 

A quick google will tell you Vlad the Impaler wasn’t exactly friendly. 

She believes that excusing horrible behavior, under the guise of gentle parenting, is leading kids astray, 

“You don’t raise accountability by asking ‘do you feel safe enough to not throw the remote at grandma?’” she points out. 

In Tori’s opinion refusing to teach children the weight of consequences doesn’t lead to becoming a free thinker. 

“It leads to a full grown tapeworm,” she insists.  

And once they’re grown, she insists self reflection won’t be the first thing that crosses their minds when they’re called out as adults. 

“Gentle parenting is for gentle children”

Tori recommends using different approaches to discipline, such as grounding them, revoking privileges, and occasionally raising your voice. It’s important not to engage in negotiations with a child who refuses to use the toilet appropriately.

The comment section of her video was filled with agreement. 

“Gentle parenting is for gentle children. If you are raising velociraptors, train accordingly,” one person commented.

A second agreed: “Gentle parenting has evolved to letting your kids walk all over you.” 

“Gentle parenting is about teaching them emotional regulation whilst having boundaries and consequences…. I do proper gentle parenting and my child does have consequences,” a third added.

Now, Tori’s not saying we need to forget these are kids we’re talking about. She’s not saying parents should exactly rule with an iron fist completely. 

“I’m just saying do your jobs so that the rest of us don’t have to deal with Dilweed the Third,” she said. 

To end she issues an apology for her relatable outburst: “Sorry. I’m having big feelings.”