Listen, it’s the voice of God

So, now, pay attention. Little Mother has another wee saga to share — lest you think I just lead a dull boring existence.

The phone rings. Unable to answer it during another long and dull conversation, I let Eva, our newest household member from Spain, handle it. She shouts into the receiver, “Who you are?”

The person responds. She says, “Who?” The unseen voice repeats it. Eva then reports, “It’s Cocccfdoopktwby.”

WHO?

“It’s hjhwppoqsryx.”

Me, still on my interminable phone call, whisper: “No such person. Ask again.”

She asks again. She comes back with: “Name’s Ytraghkkplywsy.”

Me, cranky, I grab the phone and snarl into it: “Enough with you already. Who are you?”

The pleasant tempered voice then says nicely: “It’s Cardinal Dolan.”

He just helped elect Chicago’s Robert Prevost as the new Pope Leo XIV and my housekeeper wants to know who he is.

Lobel’s will Rock

New York, New York. The city that excels in everything. From noise, taxes, and traffic to scaffolding, sightseeing, mayors, bagels, and even visitors sleeping on the streets. And let’s not forget about their four-star steaks.

Lobel’s. A legendary name in steaks for many years. A small prime uncooked boneless cut could set you back about $400. But here comes the interesting part – you can now associate Lobel’s with baseball. Yes, you can now sing “Take me out to the ballgame, buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack — and Lobel’s.” Ever since 2009, there has been a Lobel’s stand at Yankee Stadium. From champions to chomps!

Now, a new lower-level Rockefeller Center location — where a bit farther back was the skating rink — is in the works. Banquettes, wood trim, seating or takeout, we’re talking thick meaty sandwiches.

When’s it open? Per a spokesperson, “Soon as they let us turn the gas on.”

And whenever whoever should send me my whatever, don’t forget the ketchup.

He needs a hand

Anthony Weiner — please excuse the expression — has just sent out these messages and this is a curtailed version of them:

“Thousands of people signed a petition to place me on the ballot. (CINDY: HIM, or only parts of him?) So far the response has been great. (Like when he sent naked photos of certain parts of him to young females?) And we have raised the maximum amount required for the race as fast as my opponents.

“Now it’s ‘all hands on deck’ time. We need as many volunteers as possible to help pull voters to the polls. We need help knocking on doors, hanging posters and manning polling places. Together we can steer New York back onto the right track for the middle class and those struggling to make it.”

Great idea. And if he needs help he can always count on the Menendez brothers who are now up for parole after having shot and killed both parents.

Good idea. We a great country or what?

A duck, a frog and a skunk wanted to go to the movies. One of the three couldn’t afford it. The duck had a bill, the frog had a greenback but the skunk had only a scent.

God bless America.