Noel Edmonds fights back tears recounting 'very dark times' and suicidal thoughts - as emotional Kiwi Adventure viewers gasp 'he has been to hell and back'
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Noel Edmonds fought back tears as he recounted ‘very dark times’ and suicidal thoughts when he hit rock bottom. 

His new documentary, Noel Edmonds’ Kiwi Adventure, hit screens last week on ITV and follows the former Deal or No Deal host, 76, and his wife Liz as they navigate life together in New Zealand. 

The pair own a 800-acre estate, River Haven, which features a restaurant, a vineyard, a pub and a wellness centre. 

During the first episode, Noel opened up about a ‘difficult period’ and ‘very dark times’ in his life.

He introduced viewers to a sculpture, called Guardian, and narrator Rob Brydon explained, ‘In 2005, at the height of his fame, Noel’s production company unexpectedly went bankrupt, hugely affecting his mental health.’

Noel showed a plaque by the statue and said: ‘There’s a description of my story here, for guests to understand why I had Guardian created.’

Noel Edmonds (pictured) fought back tears as he recounted 'very dark times' and suicidal thoughts

Noel Edmonds (pictured) fought back tears as he recounted ‘very dark times’ and suicidal thoughts

His new documentary, Noel Edmonds' Kiwi Adventure, hit screens last week on ITV and follows the former Deal or No Deal host, 76, and his wife Liz as they navigate life together in New Zealand

His new documentary, Noel Edmonds’ Kiwi Adventure, hit screens last week on ITV and follows the former Deal or No Deal host, 76, and his wife Liz as they navigate life together in New Zealand 

During the first episode, Noel opened up about a 'difficult period' and 'very dark times' in his life

During the first episode, Noel opened up about a ‘difficult period’ and ‘very dark times’ in his life

‘My Unique group of companies was deliberately collapsed by some corrupt bankers,’ he recalled.

‘And I’m safe in saying that because my bank manager went to prison, along with four others, for 50 years.

‘What they were doing was pushing businesses over the edge and then taking asset, that’s basically what it was about.’

Noel reflected on the time and revealed how it made him feel. 

‘When the companies went into administration in 2006, I thought I was a crap businessman. I thought it was my fault. 70 people lost their jobs,’ he said.

‘And I said to Liz, who was a fantastic support, ‘When,’ not if, ‘When I win my battle to get my losses back, I’m gonna get the great Weta Studios, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, the real creative powerhouse here in New Zealand, I’m gonna ask them to build me a statue’.’ 

He explained: ‘Liz designed the shield, because it is our story of the fight to get our losses back.’

The sculpture featured a knight kneeling with his head down and praying.

He introduced viewers to a sculpture, called Guardian, and narrator Rob Brydon explained, 'In 2005, at the height of his fame, Noel's production company unexpectedly went bankrupt, hugely affecting his mental health.'

He introduced viewers to a sculpture, called Guardian, and narrator Rob Brydon explained, ‘In 2005, at the height of his fame, Noel’s production company unexpectedly went bankrupt, hugely affecting his mental health.’

Noel showed a plaque by the statue and said: 'There's a description of my story here, for guests to understand why I had Guardian created.'

Noel showed a plaque by the statue and said: ‘There’s a description of my story here, for guests to understand why I had Guardian created.’

'My Unique group of companies was deliberately collapsed by some corrupt bankers,' he recalled

‘My Unique group of companies was deliberately collapsed by some corrupt bankers,’ he recalled

Noel appeared emotional and said: ‘He’s praying before he gets up and defeats the dark force, the enemy.’

He then admitted: ‘I’ll tell you, when you go to that dark space… I used to, like many people, kind of look down my nose and think, why would anybody want to take their own life? Why would they want to do that?

‘I’ll tell you, if you’ve ever been in that dark space, you’ll never be critical, because it is a space where there is no reason.’

The episode touched some viewers who took to social media to share their thoughts.

One posted on X: ‘Say what you like about him but he’s been to hell and back and is still standing and as someone who grew up watching him on Swap Shop and TOTP etc I’m a fan and will be watching next week.’

‘Don’t care what you say, I love Noel Edmonds!’ another added.

Noel has previously opened up about how he attempted to take his own life in 2005.

‘I’ve thought a lot about that dark place I got to. Thankfully, it is beyond the comprehension of most people,’ he told the Mail back in 2017.

The episode touched some viewers who took to social media to share their thoughts

The episode touched some viewers who took to social media to share their thoughts

He then admitted: 'I'll tell you, when you go to that dark space¿ I used to, like many people, kind of look down my nose and think, why would anybody want to take their own life? Why would they want to do that? 'I'll tell you, if you've ever been in that dark space, you'll never be critical, because it is a space where there is no reason.'

He then admitted: ‘I’ll tell you, when you go to that dark space… I used to, like many people, kind of look down my nose and think, why would anybody want to take their own life? Why would they want to do that? ‘I’ll tell you, if you’ve ever been in that dark space, you’ll never be critical, because it is a space where there is no reason.’

‘Yes, people suffer from depression. But it is not quite the same as the space you go into when all reason goes, when rationality and logic and hope vanish.

‘Life without hope is no life. There is no logic. How illogical, when you adore your children and family, to do that.’

For confidential support, call Samaritans on 116 123, visit samaritans.org or visit www.thecalmzone.net/get-support 

Noel Edmonds’ Kiwi Adventure airs on ITV1 and streams on ITVX.

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