Nothing can truly prepare you for the postpartum rollercoaster, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. A new study, commissioned by Intimina, is shedding light on the reality vs. the expectations of what happens postpartum.

According to a new Talker Research survey, 2,000 moms who gave birth in the last three years have collectively confirmed what many of us already knew, recovering after childbirth is a whole journey. And for a lot of new mothers, that journey is still very much in progress even years later.

The study findings:

• 2 in 3 moms said they were still recovering several years after giving birth.
• Nearly half said their most recent birth took even longer to bounce back from than the first.
• 88% (yes, even seasoned moms!) admitted that no matter how much you prep, postpartum life still slaps you with the unexpected.

However, what experts want new mothers to remember is that every journey is different. Certified nurse-midwife Michele Burtner told Parents that the recovery timeline can vary wildly depending on how you delivered, whether there were complications, and what number baby you’re on. “The actual time it takes to physically feel ‘recovered’ varies from person to person,” she told the outlet.

Burtner added, “Postpartum depression and anxiety can be diagnosed up to one year after delivery.” That means mental healing can lag way behind your physical healing.

Tisha Seghers, another certified nurse-midwife and fellow mom of two, breaks down the second-time-around challenges: more pelvic issues, more muscle fatigue, more exhaustion and way less rest. “Sleep is essential for postpartum recovery and mental health,” she emphasized. And with a full house, that can be very tricky to navigate. 

So what can new moms do? Seghers offers some solid real-world advice:

• Listen to your body — if you start bleeding more after an activity, slow it down.
• Don’t overdo it — skip the Target hauls for now.
• Move when you’re ready — exercise can be healing, not punishing.
• Eat and hydrate like it’s your job — because it kind of is right now.

Even with the blogs, books, and classes, nothing hits as hard as like actually living it. From emotional spirals to night sweats to realizing your pelvic floor is…well, different now, and everything in between. Seghers reminds mothers that, “This journey of motherhood has been filled with unexpected and hard things, but thankfully, the unexpected and hard things have often been beautiful.”