“It took a lot of psychology and counselling to get to the point of realising that what happened was not okay, it was abuse.”

Sarah Williams believes children and young people are often forgotten in conversations about domestic violence. Source: Supplied

When Williams was 17, she decided to seek help, but found it difficult to find services or information that supported young people.

“They’ve witnessed it all and experienced it and are a victim within their own right.”

The ‘forgotten, invisible’ victims

“What I would say is young people in particular are the forgotten, invisible victims of family and domestic violence,” Tobin says.

Tobin says it is difficult to quantify exact numbers because many young people are not accessing support through the current systems.

Chelsea Tobin is CEO of Safe Steps, a 24/7 family violence response centre. Source: Supplied

“They don’t call us, they don’t call anyone, because they see traditional services as irrelevant, unhelpful, or inaccessible,” Tobin says.

“What young people are telling us … is that it’s really unclear where they can find services that support them, that are relevant to them … and they’re just repeatedly falling through the cracks.”

‘Complicated for a young person to understand’

After living in fear for several years, Allen and her mother, along with her two sisters, were able to escape and start a new life. They were able to afford housing and food, but Allen says she struggled to access support or education about what was happening to her.

Now 18, Allen has become an advocate and is working to improve resources for young people experiencing the kind of violence she and her sisters faced.

Ruby Allen says domestic violence services do not adequately cater for children and young adults. Source: Supplied

Allen shares Williams’s view that young people are often left out or not adequately represented in public conversations or media coverage about domestic and family violence.

“It’s not just witnessing or seeing something, it’s feeling the effects of it as well.”

Youth-perpetrated domestic violence

“They witness it or they’re subjected themselves to the violence, and then what occurs is these young people learn how to solve problems and emotionally regulate through the use of physical violence or emotional violence,” Barker says.

Barker says there are many gaps in the system and public knowledge when it comes to domestic, family and sexual violence experienced and perpetrated by young people.

She says this means their individual needs, risks, and trauma have traditionally not been addressed or treated.

She says Australia needs a digital-first response designed for children and young people, with tailored support, education, and referral services.

Lasting impacts and ongoing trauma

“I think because [it’s] all I’ve ever known, it’s affected absolutely every aspect of my life,” she says.

“Obviously, it felt bad; it hurt and broke me, but I thought that was something that happens because that’s all I saw.”