ARLINGTON, Texas — The family of Mary Spears shared a video they describe as one of the heated moments before Arlington police arrested her estranged husband. The Sept. 17 video shows Frederick Spears holding a knife and threatening his stepson, Ashton.

“He tried to hit my dog, I said something, and he just started cussing at me,” said Ashton Spears, Mary’s son.

Officers arrested Frederick Spears and booked him into the Arlington City Jail on one count of aggravated assault family violence. His bond included a restraining order ordering him to stay away from the family.

But Ashton says an Arlington police officer drove him back to the home anyway.

“It makes me so mad, and I don’t — I don’t want to ruin the officer’s life or get her in trouble,” Ashton said. “I don’t want any of that, but I do think that everybody needs to know that they brought him back.”

Officers later arrested Spears for fatally stabbing Mary. Police say Spears cut himself with a knife during his re-arrest for the murder. 

In a statement, the Arlington Police Department acknowledged the officers should not have arranged transportation back to the family’s home and said it is conducting a comprehensive administrative review.

“This is a traumatic situation. It is a complex situation,” said Kathryn Jacob, CEO of SafeHaven of Tarrant County.

Domestic violence advocates like Jacob are watching the Spears case closely. She says tragedies like this happen more often than many realize. Last year alone, SafeHaven answered nearly 14,000 calls for help in Tarrant County. More than 1,600 women and children stayed in shelters for their safety. 

“This can and does happen far more than you would ever think,” Jacob said, “We have had survivors who do not understand the level of danger that they are in. If you think you might be in a relationship that is abusive, just that you might be, you may not even know, call the hotline.”

Dr. Kathryn Jacob encourages anyone to call their 24-hour hotline 877-701-7233 with concerns or questions about their safety. She welcomes conversations with people who may even doubt they are in any kind of danger now or possibly in the future. SafeHaven counselors are trained to listen to people and help them assess their situation. 

SafeHaven’s dedication now goes far beyond the hotline, counseling, and shelters for victims. Dr. Jacob and her team are working on creating a tool they hope will be a game-changer when it comes to reducing domestic violence victims, not just in Tarrant County, but across the country. 

“We are leading a nationwide study,” Dr. Jacob said. “You can read more about it on our website and on our socials, but we’re at the end stage of a nationwide study with a huge panel of, like, rock star experts in our work to help law enforcement adequately identify the dominant aggressor on scene. And so we hope and we know that at the end of this experience, this nationwide study, we will have a tool to really make sure that we are making the right arrest.”

Although Ashton has lost his mother in what police describe as domestic family violence, he says he wants people to remember who she truly was.

“I just want everyone to know how good of a woman she was,” Ashton said.

That is how he says Mary Spears should always be remembered.