DEAR ABBY: Sixteen years ago, my grandmother passed away. Before her death, she confided in me and my two children about having set up accounts for their college education. After she passed, my aunt took charge of handling her will. Unfortunately, my children never received the funds, and my aunt consistently refused to let me view the will.

I remember overhearing my grandmother ask my aunt if she had filed the will at the courthouse, to which my aunt confirmed she had. Yet, upon investigating at the courthouse, I found no record of the will. How can I approach my aunt about my children’s inheritance without sparking a family conflict, especially since I’m currently living with her? — OWED IN GEORGIA

DEAR OWED: If you were a beneficiary in your grandmother’s will, you are entitled to review it. By withholding the funds intended for your children, your aunt is essentially committing theft. Raising this issue might inevitably lead to some tension, which is why consulting with a lawyer to address the matter could be beneficial, provided you can afford legal advice. (I hope there are still funds available after all this time.)

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I reside in a condo equipped with a fireplace, which we frequently use to heat our living room and TV area during cooler weather. Recently, a neighbor expressed concerns, citing that the smoke exacerbates her pulmonary issues and prevents her from opening her windows for fresh air. She has requested that we cease using the fireplace, warning that our refusal could strain our friendship.

Despite regularly maintaining the fireplace and installing a larger flue, the issue persists. No other neighbors have raised complaints. How should we address her concerns, and what responsibilities do we have toward her? — TWO SENIOR FIREPLACE LOVERS

DEAR TWO: Your neighbor is a sick woman. She’s complaining about the smoke because when you use the fireplace to heat your living area, it affects her breathing — something people need to do in order to live. Your obligation to her depends upon how you feel about observing the Golden Rule. If you feel any compassion for the plight of others, buy an electric heater (there are many good ones that won’t break the bank), quit smoking your poor neighbor out and thank your higher power you don’t have her problem.

DEAR ABBY: I had plastic surgery several years ago. I don’t feel I am required to divulge this information to anyone. When I’m asked my age, I don’t lie, yet I do get “the look” from people who know how old I am. I find it embarrassing. What do I say or do when asked (because, believe it or not, some people do ask)? — LOOKING YOUNGER IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LOOKING YOUNGER: Respond as follows: “Thank you for the compliment! Each night I wash my face with soap and water and, when the weather is cold and dry, I apply a little moisturizer. You should try it.” (Remember that you don’t have to give a direct answer to every question that’s asked.)

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.