A tragic incident in Cary, Illinois has prompted a grieving couple to channel their loss into a mission to support others. The couple’s son, who had autism, died following a misunderstanding with police.

Jake Porter, aged 32, was supposed to meet his parents at a nearby restaurant in the northwest suburbs. Instead, he stayed in his car in a parking lot. Miscommunications led to a situation where police, mistakenly perceiving a threat, approached with their weapons drawn. In the ensuing chaos, Jake took his own life.

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Christy Porter, Jake’s mother, now clings to the memories captured in photographs of her eldest son, who is no longer with them.

Jake was described by his parents as a person full of warmth, humor, and kindness. However, his autism meant he had a small social circle and continued to live at home with them. The family is now struggling to process their sudden and heartbreaking loss.

“The world is a lesser place without my son,” Christy Porter said. “We will never get over it.”

Jake Porter was on his way to meet his parents in a nearby neighborhood, wearing a medical mask, when he turned his car around in the street, apparently scaring two teenage girls who ran home and told their father someone tried to kidnap them, Porter’s parents explained.

The father followed Jake Porter, saw he had a gun and called police.

Lake County said the incident happened about 3:30 p.m. on July 30, 2025 in unincorporated Cary. Officers found Jake Porter in his car in a parking lot and surrounded him before he fatally shot himself.

“This was not a traffic stop,” his father Michael Porter said. “They gad guns drawn and he just made the wrong decision.”

His parents say Jake Porter suffered from anxiety and was seeing a therapist to help learn to better deal with it. Police say they get special training for dealing with those with autism.

“It’s always helpful if we know someone we are interacting with may have autism or intellectual disability, where we can adapt and perform our job differently,” Lake County Sheriff Deputy Chief Chris Covelli said.

But they didn’t know. Jake Porter’s parents say they don’t blame police. They were acting on the information they had at the time, nor did they know how their son got a gun.

The parents are speaking about it now in hopes of helping others.

“We hope another autistic person sees this and makes a different choice than Jake did,” Christy Porter said.

Jake Porter’s parents say lawyers tell them they have no legal options. They just want him to be remembered as the gentle man they say he was.

“I cant have him go down in history as a kidnapper,” Michael Porter said. “That’s just a lie.”