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Penn Badgley has shared how he and his wife, Domino Kirke, nearly parted ways due to the strain of experiencing two heartbreaking miscarriages.
The 39-year-old actor openly discussed the profound effect these losses had on their relationship, occurring before they eventually welcomed three children into their lives.
In a recent interview, Penn explained that he and Domino, a 41-year-old doula, found it challenging to cope because such topics are not commonly discussed.
While appearing on the podcast Totally Booked, he talked about his newly released debut essay collection, “Crushmore: Essays on Love, Loss, and Coming-of-Age.”
The release of this collection seems to reflect Penn’s artistic journey, as he has portrayed literary characters like Dan Humphrey in “Gossip Girl” and Joe Goldberg in “You.”
Speaking on the podcast, Penn said: ‘That sort of loss is really common, and we should — I don’t know if talking about it alone is what we need. We at least need to start by talking about it more.
‘And, of course, just to be clear, I’m speaking about miscarriages. They do happen all the time, and they can be really, really painful,’ he continued. ‘Well, I would say they universally are painful. Maybe not everybody’s fully allowed to feel that way.’
Penn Badgley has opened up on how he nearly split from his wife Domino Kirke over the pressure of suffering two devastating miscarriages
Penn appeared on the Totally Booked podcast with Zibby
In an extract from his book, Penn shared a ‘dreadful memory’ that has stayed with him from around the time he and Domino were struggling.
Penn said: ‘This was our second loss together. A time when it did not feel as though the cycle would break. My wife and I neared separated as many do after losses like that.’
‘Largely because we felt so isolated in a culture that doesn’t talk much about these things or know how to support those going through it. Seeing our still baby in that tripped out black-and-white sono imagery is a dreadful memory I can’t shake every time we go for a sonogram now.’
He said: ‘Especially for us, me at that point not having any biological children, my wife having her firstborn… That was a real inflection point,’ he said.
‘We did near separation, and of course we didn’t give into the gravity of that… And here we are with three biological children since.’
Penn and Domino now have three sons together, the first of whom was born in 2020, James, now five, and twin boys who they welcomed earlier this year.
The star is also stepfather to Domino’s son Cassius, 16, from a previous relationship.
Penn joked that he now feels like he is ‘drowning in children’, so it is harder to reflect on the difficult time period they once went through.
Penn and his wife Domino have since welcomed three sons. Domino is also mother to Cassius
Penn and Domino now have three sons together, the first of whom was born in 2020 and twin boys who they welcomed earlier this year
He said: ‘It’s funny because I wrote this before the twins were born, and now I feel like I am — and I mean this with love — but I feel like I’m drowning in children.
‘So, it’s harder to get in touch with that feeling of loss because my cup truly runneth over.’
‘But I mean, especially for us, me at that point not having any biological children and my wife having her firstborn … that was a real inflection point.
‘One of the greatest of my life and my wife’s because we did near separation, and of course, we didn’t give into the gravity of that and the sort of entropy of that. And here we are with three biological children since.’
Domino first spoke about pregnancy loss in 2020 when she was expecting her second child and Penn’s first.
She wrote on Instagram: ‘On the road again… pregnancy after loss is [a] whole other thing. After two miscarriages in a row we were ready to call it.
‘I stopped trusting my body and started to accept the fact that I was done. As a birth attendant, I’ve seen and heard it all. It takes everything I’ve got to detach lovingly from the losses I’ve been present for and be in my own experience.’
The couple announced in February that they were expecting again, with Penn revealing months later in April that they were having identical twin boys.
Penn rose to fame playing ‘Lonely Boy’ Dan Humphrey in Gossip Girl before later taking on the role of stalker Joe Goldberg in Netflix hit You
Domino described her pregnancy as a ‘plot twist’ when she posted her Instagram announcement earlier this year.
‘Babies #3 and #4 coming this Summer! … Spontaneous twins are beyond magical,’ she wrote at the time.
And she added, ‘We are stunned. We are in awe. Can’t think of anyone else I’d rather be on this ride with.’
chatting with Access Hollywood in April, the Netflix star said that there’s pressure to raise their brood of boys well.
‘They’re identical boys, so now we have four boys. You know — I do mean this sincerely — it sounds a bit tacky, but the world needs more good men, so you know, pressure’s on us to raise them well,’ he explained.
Asked what his ‘dad superpower’ is, Penn answered, ‘Well, it’s my patience until I’ve lost it, and then I’m just as bad as anybody else. But, I can be very patient.’
He and Domino tied the knot at a New York City courthouse February 2017. They followed it with a ceremony in upstate New York that June.
They have been together since 2014.