DEAR ABBY: Recently, my daughter and I enjoyed a three-month stay with my parents while my husband was on deployment. It was a wonderful visit, but I couldn’t help but notice a shift in my parents’ behavior regarding their phone usage. Both retired and in their mid-60s, they seem to be on their phones more than ever before.

While I’m happy to see them embracing new technology, I’m worried that excessive screen time might negatively affect their social skills, mental well-being, and cognitive sharpness as they age. Growing up, our household had strict limits on screen time, with no TVs or computers in our main living areas. Our family dinners were times for conversation and connection.

During my visit, my parents would often bring their phones to the dinner table, checking messages or browsing the web mid-meal. Throughout the day, I frequently found them engrossed in their screens. This behavior starkly contrasts with the values they instilled in me. How can I address my concerns with them and gently suggest they cut back on their phone time? — CONCERNED OBSERVER IN WASHINGTON

DEAR CONCERNED: Times have certainly changed since your upbringing. However, if you’re considering taking on a parental role with your parents, think again. Not only is this approach likely to fail, but it might also breed resentment. Remember, they are adults, not teenagers learning about social interaction for the first time.

DEAR ABBY: My college roommate and I formed a strong friendship, though I always sensed a touch of arrogance in him. It became clear when he grew upset after a girl expressed interest in me instead of him. I realized his tendency to constantly compare and compete has always been present.

At age 30, after we ended up working for the same company, we had a falling-out. I’m sure he has his complaints about me, but I am no longer interested in being his friend. We’re 36 now and still involved in our fantasy football league, so we see each other from time to time. We’re generally civil to each other, especially for the sake of the league. 

Well, he now wants to rekindle the friendship and keeps asking me to hang out. I’ve made excuses so far, and I wish he would take a hint, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to eventually tell him (again) that I’m not interested in hanging out. I don’t want to hurt his feelings any more than I have to. Please help. — NOT FEELING IT IN KANSAS

DEAR NOT FEELING IT: You are not obligated to have anything more to do with this person than you wish. If the only time the two of you interact is during the fantasy football season, he shouldn’t be too hard to avoid. When he asks to hang out, continue doing what you have been, which is to say you are busy. Eventually, he may take the hint. 

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.