DEAR ABBY: As someone who has been divorced for years and is now retired with adult children, I find myself struggling with a peculiar issue. I’ve always found the idea of showering and having dirt and oil run down my body quite unpleasant. This has led me to wash my hair over the kitchen sink instead. I avoid stepping into the shower to bathe, mainly because I dislike the chill and the inconvenience of dressing while still damp.

During past relationships, I made an effort to shower or used hospital-grade wipes to freshen up. I still use these wipes sometimes, although not as often as I should, and I admit it’s not the best hygiene practice. I dry shave my legs and underarms when necessary. Despite this, I maintain my oral hygiene by brushing my teeth twice daily and often receive compliments on my light perfume. Yet, I’m aware that as we age, our sense of smell diminishes, so I might not be as fresh as I think.

I’m unsure how to address this issue and feel uncomfortable discussing it with friends. Though I generally keep good health and experience some depression, it doesn’t feel severe enough to seek professional treatment, especially considering my limited income.

I’m interested in your perspective on this. It’s been over six weeks since I’ve taken a proper shower, and I recognize that my aversion is solely due to not enjoying the process. — UNSHOWERED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR UNSHOWERED: If the solution were as simple as suggesting a portable heater to make your bathroom more comfortable, I would recommend it. You mentioned experiencing depression “like everyone else,” but not everyone struggles with depression. While many people face challenges in relationships and at work, not all suffer from depression. It might be worth exploring whether your feelings are influencing your outlook on personal care routines.

Although you live on a fixed income, you could benefit from discussing your issue with a licensed psychotherapist.

Help is available on a sliding financial scale through your county’s department of mental health or your local university with a department of psychology. While medication might help you overcome your depression, getting to the root of your shower avoidance will likely happen once you start talking.

DEAR ABBY: My question is about dating among older adults. I have been on a dating website for a while now. Most of the profiles are fake. I finally encountered a legitimate profile of a nice-looking man, and we are now talking. After one week, we are finally going to meet for dinner. I’m thrilled, but he stated that he has “baggage.” When I asked him what kind, he replied, “It’s physical.” What does that mean?

We have discussed being intimate and, at our age, we are no longer virgins. I intend to go on the date and be gracious and kind, but I am more than a little confused. What are your thoughts? I thought we clicked or I wouldn’t be going on a date with him. What did I miss? — PERPLEXED IN FLORIDA

DEAR PERPLEXED: The nice-looking man who has made a date with you could have been alluding to any number of physical problems. He might be missing a limb or need assistance getting around, or he may be impotent. Because he didn’t give you the laundry list he included in his “baggage,” you are just going to have to find out for yourself and take this a step at a time.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.