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Parenting a teenager is often a journey filled with ups and downs. Just when you think everything is smooth sailing, a minor disagreement can swiftly escalate into a more significant issue. While some disputes might be worth ignoring to maintain peace, experts advise that certain situations warrant immediate attention.
Here are four types of conflicts with teenagers that experts believe should never be overlooked:
1. Neglecting Personal Hygiene
According to Dr. Cari Alvarez, PhD, a licensed child psychologist and faculty member at Harvard University, neglecting hygiene can be an early indicator of mental health issues, including depression. Dr. Alvarez shared these insights in a recent conversation with Parade.com.
When teenagers start neglecting basic hygiene, such as showering or wearing clean clothes, it raises serious concerns that should be addressed promptly. Experts suggest handling these discussions with care and empathy. Rather than criticizing the behavior, it’s more constructive to highlight the positive aspects of maintaining good hygiene.
2. When teens frequently misplace things and are continually late and missing deadlines
“Underestimating how long things will take, or not being able to hold down a thoughtful conversation about a single topic, can be signs of difficulties with executive functioning and could point to potential ADHD,” Dr. Alvarez told the outlet.
Offering solutions can help, such as teaching teens how to make checklists, use reminders, or build routines. This keeps the focus on problem-solving rather than criticism. If ADHD is a concern, contacting your child’s pediatrician for further evaluation is recommended.
3. When you and your teen disagree about a friend or a partner
“Frequent arguments with parents over the same friend or romantic partner, comments like ‘This is why so-and-so doesn’t like you,’ or ‘So-and-so says you’re controlling,’ could signal a potentially toxic relationship where the individual is trying to alienate the teen from their caregivers for potentially dangerous or unsafe purposes,” Dr. Alvarez warned.
Disagreements about friendships or romantic relationships can be one of the most challenging aspects of parenting a teen. This may be uncomfortable for parents; however, it is essential that the conversation happens if it needs to.
4. When your teen is skipping school
“Arguments regarding teens not wanting to go to school, unexcused absences or truancy can signal a potentially dangerous context in school or bullying,” Dr. Alvarez said to the outlet.
This is important because of the various layers of consequences for both parent and child. If your child is skipping school, this should be addressed immediately. Parents face criminal charges, fines, and even jail time if their child skips school. For the child, skipping school can prohibit them from graduation and getting the proper education that they need for the future.