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Last March took a turn that Gabourey Sidibe never saw coming.
The actress was gearing up for several life events: the arrival of her twins, another anniversary with her husband, Brandon Frankel, and the premiere of the Apple TV documentary, “Number One on the Call Sheet,” which highlighted her journey.
Then, unexpectedly, her mother, Alice Tan Ridley, passed away at the age of 72.
“Grief is challenging. It’s immense, especially when you lose a parent,” Sidibe shared with EBONY. “It’s like, ‘I’ve never existed in this world without them,’ right? It’s overwhelming, and while there are moments I just need to pause and reflect, my kids still need their chicken nuggets.”
Being a mother has altered how she navigates her sorrow. Gabourey and Frankel’s twins, Cooper and Maya, have become a source of strength, with their daily routines providing her with the resolve to move forward.
“I’m so grateful that I have something to fill up any corners of sadness, especially ’cause [my children] are so great and I love them so much and I love them so big,” she said. “And I’m so grateful that I have them to, not necessarily to lean on, but to distract me. It really does keep me focused because I need to live every single day for them.”
Professionally, Sidibe has stepped into a new role as the director of the Lifetime movie Mary J. Blige Presents: Be Happy.
Production of the film took five weeks and required her to leave Los Angeles for more than a month.
Being away from her twins was difficult. Frankel took the lead at home with the help of a daytime nanny. Sidibe said watching her partner manage their household gave her peace while she focused on the film.
“Let me tell you something about that man,” she said. “It’s not always [about] being in the crowd holding signs, tweeting, or, you know, telling everybody about me. That’s not what’s important to me in this. What was most important was him holding down those kids, without complaints and then making sure that they can see me every night and making sure to get them to me so that we can wrap our arms around each other.”
In the months ahead, Sidibe will celebrate five years of marriage and prepare to return for season 13 of American Horror Story. Her twins are also set to turn two.
For Sidibe, this chapter of her life is about ownership.
“This part [of my life] has a little more agency than I have as an actor. There’s more choice over here,” she said. “I want to create my art. I want to really be in the driver’s seat. I want to produce, I want to direct, I want to star in the vehicles that I create. Those are the dreams that I wanna achieve, and I’m getting close.”