This column was originally published on Friday afternoon, soon after Lachie Neale successfully appealed his tribunal suspension and before Emma Field attended the AFL Grand Final. It has been republished with updated imagery following Emma’s appearance in the spotlight on football’s biggest stage — exactly as Amanda feared she might.
I am hardly an A-lister, but as an author, columnist and, of course, Samantha X, I have endured my share of brutal headlines and malicious rumours while living a relatively public life.
I have accepted that scrutiny, at least in part, because I was the person who chose to make my life public.
But I have always followed one non-negotiable rule regarding my public profile: my family and the people I love are out of bounds. I do not publish their names or photographs, and most people have no idea what happens behind my closed doors, who I spend time with or who matters most to me.
I make that distinction because it is possible to live publicly, shoulder responsibility for your own controversies and still protect those around you from gossip, harassment and relentless public attention.
Which brings me, inevitably, to Lachie Neale.
Before Lachie Neale’s tribunal verdict was announced, I heard that his new girlfriend, 29-year-old Emma Field, was already travelling to Melbourne. Not long afterwards, photographs emerged of her hurrying through the airport.
Emma was photographed greeting Lachie with a victory kiss in the rooms after a match in August.
The day after Amanda Goff’s column appeared, Emma was seen in the MCG stands wearing a jacket featuring Lachie’s name and guernsey number.
For a fleeting moment this week, Neale’s sex life was no longer the main story. Instead, attention turned to the one-match ban he received for striking Hawthorn’s Jack Ginnivan during the preliminary final. For several days, it appeared he may have played his final match for the Brisbane Lions and would be unable to take part in Saturday’s AFL Grand Final.
That ruling was overturned last night, meaning the former captain will now line up against Fremantle at the MCG on Saturday.
Before the tribunal reached its decision, I learned that Lachie’s new partner, 29-year-old Emma Field, was already heading to Melbourne. Soon enough, images appeared showing her making her way through the airport.
The group chats immediately went into overdrive: “Surely she isn’t going to the Grand Final?”
Speculation quickly followed. Would Emma be in the stands supporting her partner for what might have been his final game with the Lions? And would she run onto the MCG if Brisbane secured a historic third consecutive premiership?
It was certainly possible. She is his partner, after all — good luck, babe — and the pair had already been seen sharing a celebratory kiss in the rooms after the August match.
If Emma was preparing for her high-profile WAG debut at the Grand Final — especially after missing Monday’s Brownlow Medal ceremony — I could only imagine how excited she must have been.
She may have been considering what to wear, where she would sit and what it would be like to watch Lachie play at the MCG in what could have been his final Lions appearance before his widely reported move to Collingwood next year.
Lachie, pictured left, took part in Melbourne’s Grand Final parade on Friday morning, just hours after the tribunal cleared him to play.
The previous day, Emma was photographed boarding a flight at Brisbane Airport.
After already attracting paparazzi attention, Emma would also have known that cameras were certain to search for her in the crowd. Picture editors at newspapers would have been watching closely. Would she sit alongside the other WAGs, or would her reported loyalty to Lachie’s estranged wife, Jules, leave her relegated to social Siberia?
So here’s my warning to you, Lachie: don’t do it. Just don’t.
You see, I learned my lesson. You can be a public figure but that doesn’t mean the public is entitled to know every intimate detail of your life.
There is a vast difference – a very important one – between living in the public eye and dragging the people you love into it with you.
And let me ask you this: do you really want Emma to be dragged into all of your drama?
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It’s not her fault that your extramarital affair last year made you the most talked-about footballer in the league who doesn’t wear a Swans jersey.
My advice? Tell her to stay home. Book the spa day. Book a penthouse suite. Book whatever you have to. Just don’t put her in the firing line.
If you think I’m being mean, let me spell it out for you as delicately as possible.
It was only at last year’s grand final (yes, 12 months ago!) that you were photographed with your wife Jules, your mistress Tess Crosley and her poor husband Ben.
The image has been published a thousand times. It’s practically seared into my mind.
The smiles, the arm wrapped around Jules, yet Tess’s knee definitely nudging into your thigh. We all saw it, and when your marriage imploded weeks later and we found you’d been having a four-month affair with Tess, we all looked at that grand final moment with you proudly holding your medal and thought… what the f*** was this idiot thinking?
Since this column was published, Emma appeared at the AFL grand final, posing with her boyfriend in the post-match rooms with his premiership medal around his neck
It was at last year’s grand final that Lachie was photographed with his wife Jules, his mistress Tess Crosley and her poor husband Ben. What was once a jubilant grand final moment for a two-time premiership-winning team captain became a joke
For god’s sake, it has even become a Mad Monday costume (pictured)
‘Perhaps you think a snap with your new girlfriend running into your arms will exorcise the demons of last year’s grand final. It won’t. Emma will be compared to the women who came before her. The gossip will start anew and she’ll wear consequences of a scandal she didn’t create,’ writes Amanda Goff
You stood down as co-captain. Your wife fled to Perth with the kids. Tess was branded with the scarlet letter. And every single headline was splashed next to *that photo* of your grand final moment.
For god’s sake, it has even become a Mad Monday costume.
I hate to say it, Lachie, but you humiliated Jules, for whom I have enormous respect. You also dragged Tess into a scandal that ultimately embarrassed everyone involved, including her husband, your mate.
What was once a jubilant grand final moment for a two-time premiership-winning team captain became a joke. I’ve seen a million cruel memes. I’ve seen the footy blokes dressing up as you, Tess and Jules during their end-of-season piss-ups.
And so here’s my warning: why add another woman to a story that has already embarrassed enough people? Last year’s grand final photo was humiliating enough for the people in it. Don’t risk restaging it on Saturday but with poor, blameless Emma in the frame in place of your wife and lover. She deserves better than that.
I have nothing against Emma. She seems like a lovely, possibly naive, young woman. She may not have a clue what’s coming for her in terms of the harsh glare of the media spotlight.
But one thing is sure: Emma didn’t create the drama that came before her and she shouldn’t have to inherit it.
Yet the second she steps into the spotlight at the grand final, that is precisely what risks happening. Every single lens will be pointing at her. Every smile will be analysed, every interaction between you both will become a talking point.
And if Brisbane win the trophy, photographers will make a beeline for her.
Perhaps you think a happy snap with your new girlfriend running into your arms will exorcise the demons of last year’s grand final. It won’t. Emma will inevitably be compared to the women who came before her. The gossip will start anew and she’ll wear the consequences of a scandal she didn’t create.
Look, I get the temptation to show Emma off. Jules is happy living her own life in Perth, and I know you probably would want to show us all how happy you are too.
But in this case, the most respectful and loving thing you can do is protect the person you are with now, Lachie. Don’t make them a prop, a cast member of your drama, the new star of your show. You’re the famous one, an elite sportsman. Emma is not a celebrity and she isn’t the happy ending to make everyone forget last year’s drama.
Definitely don’t place her in the middle of a sporting spectacle where every eyeball will be on her and every fan will have an opinion. I almost never say this (because I love sporting scandals) but just let it be about the football.
Good luck on Saturday, Lachie. I mean it. And if you win, soak up every second of the glory. But let Emma watch privately, celebrate privately. Because if you genuinely want to protect her from the toxicity you invited into your life, the best seat for Emma on grand final day isn’t at the MCG. It’s as far away from the cameras as possible.