How I Became Stronger Than Ever After Two Kids at Nearly 40

After having my first child at 31, I was one of those irritatingly lucky women whose body seemed to ‘ping back’ to its former shape fairly quickly. My second baby, born when I was 35, was an entirely different experience.

This time, I was left with a soft stomach, virtually no muscle tone and a bottom that was a poor imitation of its former self. I wasn’t overweight, but my body felt strangely jelly-like. One meal was enough to make me look as though I was five months pregnant.

My colleague Rosie Green tried to reassure me, saying: ‘Don’t worry, it takes two years for everything to return to normal.’ So I drank coffee by the gallon, exercised without any real plan and swung between salads and chocolate, convinced I would wake up on my son’s second birthday looking like my old self. I didn’t.

By 38, I had accepted that my future might be a little softer and said goodbye to my size 8 trousers. But I hated feeling so weak, particularly because my work involves writing about the importance of muscle development and bone health in middle age.

Then an email arrived promoting Roar Fitness’s 12-week challenge, known for turning ordinary, slightly doughy bodies into impressively muscular ones. I thought: sign me up. With guidance from personal trainer Alex Smith and nutrition coach Jack Pressling, I changed my shape and rebuilt my strength. I no longer flinch at the sight of a 10kg dumbbell. This is what I learned.

I picked protein

As a vegetarian, I had always assumed that a high-protein diet was mainly for gym enthusiasts eating steak and turkey breast. Before starting the programme, I kept a three-day food diary and initially thought my diet looked pretty good. There were ‘healthy’ meals such as a supergrain salad for lunch and a vegetable stir-fry for dinner. But I also had to include the half-bar of dark chocolate after lunch, the Ben & Jerry’s eaten on the sofa and my near-panic whenever there was nothing sweet in the house.

Jack also pointed out that my diet was heavily centred on carbohydrates. Like many vegetarians, I built meals around pasta or potatoes. My supposedly nutritious porridge left me hungry by 10.30am, while afternoon energy slumps sent me searching for a Twirl. My blood sugar seemed to be on a constant journey from satisfied to ravenous.

I began restructuring my meals around protein, which meant a steady rotation of eggs, cottage cheese, protein powder and tofu. Breakfast was either protein pancakes made with two eggs, protein powder and milk, served with Greek yoghurt, or a four-egg mozzarella omelette. Lunch, to the bemusement of my colleagues, was often a tub of cottage cheese with a punnet of raw tomatoes.

There were many other meals I could have chosen, but sticking to familiar foods made life simpler. After work and the children’s bedtime, I had little enthusiasm for following a recipe, so dinner became a tofu and vegetable stir-fry most evenings.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT: Many Feared Trapped After Tall Building Collapses in Kenya

Eating the same meals repeatedly sounds incredibly dull, yet it removed much of the daily decision-making around food. The biggest surprise was that I wasn’t hungry. Protein really does help you feel full; the catch is that most people probably need to eat far more of it than they imagine.

I waved away wine

The rule that shocked my friends most was giving up alcohol, apart from drinking three litres of water a day. Alex said he would rather see me eat ice cream than drink wine because alcohol contains ‘empty calories’, although I wasn’t allowed either during the plan. Over those 12 weeks, I attended a wedding, went to a festival and took a girls’ trip to Majorca while staying completely sober. Sugar-free alternatives helped; slimline tonic almost resembles a G&T.

The upside was avoiding hangovers. I had worried about being judged, but your late 30s are liberating: other people care less about what you are doing, and you become less concerned about their opinions.

I worked weights

Before having children, I was extremely fit and exercised at least five times a week. Afterwards, I remained active with reformer Pilates, weekly 5K runs and regular gym sessions, but my workouts lacked direction. I would wander around the gym, setting up 5kg weights and wondering what I was supposed to do with them.

The Roar programme was far more structured. I was asked to pause cardio workouts and complete three weekly strength-training sessions, gradually increasing the weights. The hour-long sessions alternated between lower-body, upper-body and full-body workouts. They included chest presses, where I progressed from 5kg dumbbells to 10kg; hack squats, which rose from 15kg to 40kg; shoulder presses, increasing from 5kg to 15kg; and sled pushes and pulls.

As someone more comfortable with cardio than weightlifting, I found the sessions physically demanding. Having a trainer made a huge difference. Alex prepared the weights, removed the need to plan each workout and kept chatting to distract me from the effort. Alone in the gym, I would probably have worked at 75 per cent and decided it was enough. It is much harder to ease off when someone is standing in front of you and holding you accountable.

I stepped up

Parents of young children are hardly short of cardio, either: getting two children ready in the morning can feel like a workout in itself. Alex asked me to aim for 12,000 steps a day, which I usually managed without too much difficulty. It encouraged me to fit in an early-morning walk when possible. Around halfway through the programme, I also began running twice a week to increase my calorie burn while continuing to build muscle. Returning to cardio felt like a pleasure rather than a chore.

The results

The results surprised me. Despite eating plenty and doing considerably less cardio than before, calliper measurements showed that I had lost 60 per cent of my stomach fat and 5cm from my hips. I was already a healthy weight, so losing kilos was never the goal — and I didn’t. I wanted to tone the areas affected by pregnancy and regain my strength. I’m delighted to say that I am now stronger than I was at 25.

High-protein eating and heavy lifting are now non-negotiables for me going forward. But if I’m completely honest, there’ll always be a bar of chocolate (or two) snuck in there as well.

Roar Fitness in-person programmes start at £3,025; roar-fitness.com