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Credit: Gracie Newman/startraksphoto.com, Faye’s Vision/Cover Images
Katie Maloney opened up about how difficult it was to film Vanderpump Rules scenes with Lisa Vanderpump during Wednesday’s episode of the podcast she co-hosts with Dayna Kathan.
While describing Kristen Doute, 43, and Lala Kent, 36, as “tough competitors,” Katie, 40, explained why working with her former SUR Restaurant boss, Lisa, 66, felt so uncomfortable. She also reflected on a past relationship with a covert narcissist while appearing to hint at the person’s identity.
“It was really hard to film with Lisa,” Katie said during the October 28 episode of Disrespectfully, as reported by Vanderpod Recaps on Instagram.
“It was challenging because, for a long time, she made me really, really nervous. Then, at other times, we were expected to tell her what was happening in our lives, and she would respond, ‘Why are you telling me this?’ All of a sudden, you feel crazy because you’re thinking, ‘Why am I telling you this?’” she continued. “It wasn’t for the reasons people might assume, but I remember thinking, ‘Oh man, I have to film with Lisa.’ It was hard. It didn’t feel as natural.”
Katie said she felt “so comfortable” with the rest of the cast because she had “spent so much time with” them.
Although Katie said she would not want to film with any of her former Pump Rules castmates today, she identified Kristen and Lala as the other people she sometimes found difficult to work with.
“It was always challenging to film with Kristen or Lala when you’re not getting along with them because they’re tough competitors. They do not let things go,” she explained.
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Turning to her experience with a covert narcissist, Katie—who was previously married to Tom Schwartz, 44—said she generally does not like diagnosing people. However, she felt the person in question displayed all the traits associated with a covert narcissist.
“A covert narcissist hides classic narcissistic traits, including a deep need for admiration, a lack of empathy, and a sense of entitlement, behind a quiet, shy, or self-effacing exterior,” Katie explained. “They’re not boastful or vain, because people often associate narcissism with someone who is self-obsessed and self-important. Covert narcissists are not like that, but they can still display the other traits connected to mental and emotional abuse.”
Katie added that covert narcissists can exhibit a chronic victim mentality, passive-aggressive behavior, hypersensitivity to criticism, and a concealed sense of superiority.
She said the relationship left her feeling diminished.
“My feelings would be treated as if they weren’t important. They would ask, ‘Why are you focusing on that?’ And I would say, ‘I’m focusing on it because I feel strongly about it,’” she recalled. “They would cheat on me, and somehow I would be told I deserved it: ‘It’s because we were in a difficult place,’ or ‘It’s because you were acting a certain way.’”
Although Katie knew something was “deeply, deeply wrong” in the relationship, she admitted that the behavior eventually began to feel normal.
“I loved them, and they loved me. Love is a hell of a drug,” she said. “I thought, ‘Maybe I am the problem. I know I can be dramatic and do those kinds of things, so maybe they’re right.’ They were very, very convincing.”
Katie and Tom were together for 12 years. She has since been dating musician Nick Martin, 43, for two years. After their divorce, Katie acknowledged that she had not felt emotionally supported by Tom, who has admitted to cheating on her multiple times.