Scientists Explain Why Revenge on an Ex Feels So Satisfying

If you have ever imagined putting an irritating ex, treacherous colleague or inconsiderate neighbour in their place, you are far from alone.

Revenge is often depicted as a destructive impulse that ultimately brings guilt or regret. But new research suggests the emotional reality can be rather different.

Psychologists found that getting even is commonly linked with pleasure, satisfaction and a renewed feeling of control.

The findings also indicate that people may enjoy revenge more than they are prepared to acknowledge.

That challenges the familiar idea that retaliation inevitably makes people feel worse in the long term.

‘Both enacted and envisioned revenge were associated with pleasant feelings,’ the researchers wrote in the journal Emotion.

‘This association was observed across different measurement types and assessment times, although it was stronger when feelings were assessed during revenge than shortly after revenge, suggesting that the pleasure of revenge fades with time.’

In The First Wives Club, three women take revenge on the ex-husbands who left them for younger partners. Scientists say the impulse to get even can be surprisingly rewarding

The study, conducted by a team from the University of Würzburg in Germany, reviewed 54 existing research papers involving approximately 14,600 people.

Rather than focusing on elaborate acts of revenge, the research examined minor forms of retaliation prompted by disputes in everyday life.

Some experiments explored symbolic revenge, asking participants to vent their anger on voodoo dolls instead of real people.

In other studies, volunteers were asked to imagine taking revenge on someone who had wronged them or to recall occasions when they had actually retaliated.

The analysis showed that people who got their own back generally reported greater satisfaction, pleasure and control, with little evidence of lasting regret.

The researchers also found that participants seemed to enjoy revenge more than they admitted.

While volunteers were sometimes reluctant to describe retaliation as rewarding, brain scans and analyses of facial expressions suggested a strong sense of gratification.

Social media is full of advice about getting revenge. Some posts suggest that people can behave so badly they deserve to be given ‘a taste of their own medicine’

Scientists say revenge can produce feelings of pleasure, satisfaction and control. In Gladiator, pictured, Maximus vows to avenge the murder of his family by the emperor

‘These findings suggest that revenge is particularly pleasant during the act itself, supporting the reinforcement model of revenge and providing little evidence that revenge is followed by pronounced unpleasant emotional aftertaste,’ the scientists wrote.

The researchers are not, however, advising people to start settling old scores.

Although revenge may offer a brief sense of satisfaction, it can quickly damage relationships and trigger another cycle of retaliation.

Many of the experiments gave participants few alternatives to getting even. In real life, people can also choose forgiveness, compromise or simply walk away.

The researchers say preserving valuable relationships and avoiding needless conflict may ultimately matter more than the temporary pleasure of payback.

‘There are other things beyond your own mood and feelings,’ Dr Dyduch-Hazar told The Times. ‘Such as harmony, alliances and the safety of other people.’

In The Count of Monte Cristo, Edmond Dantès spends years exacting revenge on the men who betrayed him

Previous research has suggested that the urge for revenge could be an ancient human instinct that developed for a surprisingly practical purpose.

Psychologists say retaliation may serve a social function by warning others against exploiting or mistreating people.

If someone stole food, broke a promise or betrayed an ally, failing to respond might have encouraged further abuse.

A readiness to retaliate may therefore have helped people protect themselves and preserve their status within a group.

A separate study by researchers at Virginia Commonwealth University found that 58 per cent of people would rather take revenge immediately than wait for a larger opportunity to strike back later.

However, the researchers also found that some individuals were prepared to delay retaliation for a more severe payoff. This was especially true of people who repeatedly dwelled on past grievances and displayed more antagonistic personality traits.