“It’s disheartening.”

Grace Smith says she is trying to attend as many social events as she can to try to meet a potential partner. Source: Supplied

Grace says in her experience, many city dwellers are reluctant to embrace rural life.

“Dating in the city has its own challenges, but we have it harder.”

‘By night, it’s dead’

Aside from the geographical isolation and limited dating pool, there are other challenges for singles in rural Australia. Small, close-knit communities make it harder to form new relationships or freely express yourself, especially true for LGBTIQ+ people. Many farming areas also face a shortage of women.

Many rural Australians struggle to find a potential partner who shares their values and lifestyle priorities. Source: Supplied / Howdy

This is a problem 31-year-old Tom Mitchell knows firsthand. The farm manager moved four years ago from the NSW Hunter Valley to Porters Retreat near Oberon, NSW. It’s a community of just 64 people, according to the 2021 Census.

Tom said finding someone to date in Porters Retreat “has been a nightmare”. He refuses to give up his country lifestyle for love, meaning any partner “has to understand the rural lifestyle or be willing to partake”.

“And the isolation is tough. By night, it’s dead. Some might appreciate it, but I haven’t found one yet who does.”

Broadening the search

“For a country person to go on a date, that’s a really big thing. There’s more pressure and more effort,” she said.

Mia Ryan is the founder of a rural dating app. She says the geographic isolation of rural life makes forming relationships difficult. Source: Supplied

In an attempt to help rural singles connect, in March 2024 Mia launched dating app Howdy in March 2024. It has already been downloaded 20,000 times — three quarters of those by people in rural areas, and the rest by those in regional or urban centres open to a rural lifestyle.

“If they find someone who understands their lifestyle and wants it too, the distance doesn’t matter. They’ll make it work,” she said.

Discussing long-term goals and creating small rituals is also key to making long-distance relationships last.

Singles events

“In Orange it was quite a civilised night, with even numbers of men and women. We had talks on dating and confidence. Ages and genders didn’t matter — everyone was there for the same reason, which meant everyone was very open-minded and happy to connect. People came from almost every state, which was amazing.”

The first Howdy singles event in Orange in August attracted 250 people from almost every state in Australia. Source: Supplied

Tom has started seeking out more social opportunities — from rodeos and camp drafts to birthday parties, even if they’re hours away. But he said the singles event in Orange was “much easier” because everyone there was single.

“You don’t have to wonder who’s single and who’s not. It takes out a lot of the guesswork.”

“If they’re not prepared to step into your world, there’s no potential.”