Although she considered it necessary, Jessica feels guilt and embarrassment about the decision — and now questions whether it was the right thing to do.

A chance reunion

“I was terrified of seeing him. I had a hard time being out in public and pretty strong social anxiety. I lived in fear of seeing him, basically,” she said.

“I saw someone who seemed sad and lost … just a bloke at the pub, having a beer.”

“It was difficult, but it was almost a relief because he wasn’t the monster I had imagined,” Kathryn said.

‘I would have been five feet under’

She says that the relationship with her family deteriorated and contact with them ceased.

Jennifer says her relationship with several family members deteriorated when she came out as trans.

She says that, although coming out had the consequences it did, she needed to do it.

“If I had not have done it, I would have been five feet under,” Jennifer said.

Mending severed ties

“And I love all my three boys and grandchildren. And not being able to have contact with them breaks my heart … The same with my wife.”

However, she says that maintaining strong boundaries with her dad is critical for her. They occasionally text and see each other once or twice a year.

“I think we still do love each other. And it’s not so scary anymore.”

Living with regret

She decided it was necessary to take out another intervention order, which was granted.

Jessica and her late mother. Source: Supplied

Last year, Jessica’s mother died from a combination of mixed drug toxicity and alcohol. Jessica feels a sense of responsibility and has unanswered questions.