Going through IVF is already isolating; add the social restrictions of Melbourne’s COVID-19 lockdowns, and you feel even more cut off from the world.

Thankfully, the experience changed when we moved clinics.

Phil and Angela at one of the many egg collections. Source: Supplied

Leaning into the role

My silence was the cost, and I wasn’t sure where I could ‘put’ my emotions.

In my experience, it seems male partners are sometimes treated as secondary in this space; I felt there was little capacity for me to unpack what I was also going through.

Talking openly about IVF

I think it’s important that we openly talk about IVF — so people understand how to show up.

And when Ange spoke publicly about our journey on social media, people online shared their own experiences with us. It helped us, and I think it helped them.

A wake-up call

Jimi is my biggest accomplishment out of anything I’ve ever achieved, and wrapping my arms around him is the greatest joy of my life.

Phil and Angela with their two-year-old son Jimi. Source: Supplied

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the mental toll. Difficult memories pop up sometimes and I try to push them down.