"We've Increased Our Family Income Threefold, But Still Struggling Financially"

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Cost-of-living spikes are pushing our living standards down. Will that affect our vote this year?  Watch Insight episode Tough Time$ on Tuesday 11 March at 8.30pm (AEDT) on SBS or live on .

Raising three children in Sydney is no easy feat.

The government estimates it costs from around $8,000 per year to raise a child in Australia, which probably explains my husband’s hesitation around baby number three. Added to that, we live in one of the world’s most expensive cities.

But I was optimistic we’d make it work.

After all, my parents migrated from Bangladesh in the early ’90s with limited funds and three kids in tow. Despite their humble start, they built stable careers and businesses, giving my brothers and me a solid education, social opportunities and financial stability.

A decade ago, my husband and I earned a third of what we do now. Even with a mortgage and young child, we were still able to enjoy weekly sushi trains, weekend brunches, beauty appointments and occasional trips away.

Fast forward to 2025: our family has grown, and thankfully, so has our income.

Yet, these days my optimism has evolved into an uncomfortable realisation.

I never imagined that at our income level, we’d feel like we were going backwards.

Our mid-senior-level salaries don’t really cut it in Sydney anymore, and the goals we once had for our family are becoming pipe dreams.

A happy couple embrace and smile at each other in front of a stone wall.

Ruby and her husband have tripled their income over the past decade, and feel this should make life easier than it is. Source: Supplied / Sarah Moore/de lumiËre photography

A future I didn’t imagine

Despite a decade of juggling challenging jobs with university and new parenthood while aggressively saving for a home deposit, I was still bright eyed about the future and had my plans clearly mapped out.

Before COVID-19, if you’d asked me what 2025 would look like, I’d have enthusiastically told you about plans to upgrade our cosy townhouse to a spacious home in Sydney’s leafy Hills District.

In this vision, I’m helping my eldest with homework in a Hamptons-style kitchen while the younger two run through sprinklers in a generous backyard.

A grey Maine Coon cat roams the halls, and there’s a guest room for our ageing parents to stay the weekend — or permanently when the time comes.

Every few years, we’d go on family holidays overseas to give the children exposure to unique cultures and history.

Describing this now feels ludicrous — and perhaps a little tone deaf.

While my family are by no means on struggle street, we are certainly feeling the pinch. Soaring costs of childcare, groceries, transport, insurance and mortgage repayments leave little wriggle room in the budget.

I never expected we’d have to cut back on extracurricular activities for our children, stagger buying school uniforms and devices, or delay replacing essential household appliances.

Once, when a friend’s washing machine broke and she wasn’t in the position to buy one, we bought her a new one without hesitating. After all, isn’t that what money is for — to help the people you love?

A woman smiles as she holds her baby, who lies in a carrier on her chest.

Ruby is now bringing up three children in Sydney, one of the most expensive cities in the world. Source: Supplied

If you’d told me a few years ago I’d be excited about credit card points and yellow stickers on grocery items, or that I’d follow budget-savvy Instagram accounts, I would’ve scoffed.

But influencers sharing their spending tips and hacks have helped me realise I’m not failing my kids by cutting back. And judging by their thousands of followers, I’m certainly not alone.

It’s been heartbreaking to see friends forced to sell their homes and move back in with family, couples postponing having children due to mortgage stress, and close friends unable to afford essential early intervention for their child with special needs.

I sense many are feeling lonelier and more isolated, with hosting and socialising becoming too expensive, which means it’s harder to stay connected.

Inflation has left no-one unscathed, but low- and middle-income households are bearing the brunt.

Not everyone is insulated by generational wealth, and the wealth divide between the haves and have-nots appears to be widening.

Public policy think tank The Australia Institute revealed in 2023 that our top 10 per cent of income earners have pocketed 93 per cent of Australia’s economic gains since 2009, leaving just 7 per cent for the rest of us.

Without immediate intervention from our nation’s leaders, I am deeply concerned that this crisis will have immeasurable and irreversible effects on an entire generation.

Cultivating an abundance mindset

Truth be told, needing to tighten my belt or abandon material goals isn’t my biggest worry.

I’m concerned about how the cost of living may instil a scarcity mindset for my children.

In Bengali there is a phrase — mon chuto hoye jabe — that essentially translates to “one’s mind becomes small”. It happens when hope or aspiration dims, and is replaced by self-limiting thinking and a negative outlook.

As financial pressures mount, we worry that overhearing conversations about bills and budgeting may cause children to internalise that there isn’t enough. I’m cautious about saying ‘that’s too expensive’ or ‘we can’t afford that’.

While I want them to understand the importance of being financially responsible, I also want them to feel secure rather than believing certain things are out of their reach.

So I’m trying to cultivate resilience through gratitude.

Comparing our cost-of-living pressures to global conflict, famine and natural disasters has forced me to redefine what ‘enough’ really means.

Although our small home means we’re packed in tight and the kids don’t have their own bedrooms, we spend a lot more quality time together.

A mum, dad and their three young children stand with their backs to the camera in a wheat field.

Ruby says despite her family feeling the pinch, she wants her children to grow up with an abundance mindset. Source: Supplied

Rhyme Time at the library brings as much excitement to my baby as the Montessori playgroup I took my eldest to.

Family walks, weekends at the local pool, a lounge room disco and YouTube yoga keep us active instead of sports clubs.

Movie nights are now spent under a blanket fort at home, complete with microwave popcorn and homemade sundaes.

And the kids seem just fine swapping our weekly sushi train for a Milo custard pouch at the corner shop after school.

Taking stock of these blessings, no matter how small or ordinary, reminds me of how fortunate I am to shield my children from the challenges many other families experience.

It’s not always easy, but I’m optimistic that by embracing an abundance mindset, my family can still cultivate joy, connection and resilience in the face of any challenges ahead.

And for more stories head to , hosted by Kumi Taguchi. From sex and relationships to health, wealth, and grief Insightful offers deeper dives into the lives and first-person stories of former guests from the acclaimed TV show, Insight.

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