Why do we continue to instinctively react when a colleague sheds tears in the workplace?

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This week, UK chancellor Rachel Reeves made headlines across the world — not for a policy announcement, but for wiping away tears in the House of Commons.

Immediately, speculation as to why swirled, with some hypothesising that it had to do with an altercation between her and the lower house speaker.

UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer said it had “nothing to do with politics” and Reeves’ spokesperson said it was a “personal matter”.

It’s not the first time a political figure’s tears have made headlines.

Rachel Reeves seated in parliament crying, with other politicians near her.

Speculation about the cause of UK chancellor Rachel Reeves’ tears in parliament could reveal larger attitudes about crying in the workplace. Source: AAP / House of Commons/UK Parliament

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese has cried in public several times. Julia Gillard teared up during the launch of the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) and Kevin Rudd cried when resigning from parliament.

Bob Hawke, Malcolm Fraser and Malcolm Turnbull have also all cried on the job.

But in 2025, we still seem unsure how to feel about tears, especially if they’re at work.

“There’s still an outdated expectation that leaders must be strong — and that strong means unemotional,” psychologist Carly Dober told SBS News.

“But crying is one of the body’s strongest ways of self-soothing. It’s neutral. It helps us recalibrate.”

The taboo of tears

Despite how common it is, crying at work still carries a stigma.

“It tends to be seen as a taboo thing to do, but it is quite common,” says UTS associate professor Robyn Johns, who specialises in human resources, industrial relations and occupational stress.

“It often happens when people feel powerless, stressed, frustrated or in conflict at work.”

Dober agrees — and says suppressing those emotional reactions comes at a cost.

“Emotional suppression is really taxing on us and quite harmful,” she says. “We’re not machines. We are emotional and social individuals.”

She says crying isn’t a breakdown, but rather a biologically useful tool for emotional regulation.

“When we cry, amazing chemicals are released … endorphins that help us emotionally recalibrate.”

Does crying at work damage your reputation? That depends

Both experts say the way tears are received at work depends heavily on the context, including your industry, workplace culture, job title, and even your gender.

“Whether it’s accepted really depends on the workplace and what the norms are within that environment or profession,” Johns says.

In fields that require emotional labour — like teaching, social work or nursing — crying is more likely to be understood as part of burnout or compassion fatigue.

“Burnout often includes emotional exhaustion, and in those professions, we do see crying more frequently as part of that process,” Johns says.

On the other hand, crying in high-pressure, white-collar workplaces can be seen as a big no-no.

“It might be seen as a sign of weakness and impact your image in a negative way,” she says.

The gender gap

Both experts say reactions to crying at work are still shaped by outdated — and deeply gendered — assumptions.

“Typically, what we’ve seen within the gender power dynamics is that women are seen to be weak when they’re crying,” Johns says.

“Men are perceived to be more genuine or courageous or stronger or authentic in being able to display their emotions.

“Whereas a lot of research sees that women are interpreted to be losing control or that they don’t have the same emotional intelligence to be able to hold those more senior level roles … it can be quite damaging to their careers.”

“Women can use their brains and they can self-soothe by crying,” Dober added.

“One doesn’t cancel the other out.”

Johns suggests shifting focus away from gender and back to the circumstances of workplace crying.

“Ask instead: what are the triggers — regardless of gender — that have brought somebody to this state?”

Making space for emotion at work

Despite the lingering stigma, both experts say workplaces are starting to change — slowly.

Approximately 80 per cent of Australia’s top 500 companies have an employee assistance program (EAP) in place, which aims to support employee wellbeing and provide mental health support, according to NSW government data from 2022.

But support, Johns says, also needs to be cultural, not just procedural.

“What we don’t want is people who have these emotions to feel like they’ve absolutely got to bottle them up, otherwise it’s going to be a detriment to them in their career,” she said. “Because that’s also not healthy.”

Dober says workplace leaders play a key role in shaping emotional norms.

“Culture starts at the top,” she says. “If you say it’s okay to cry but penalise people when they do, that’s not psychologically safe.”

Both agree it’s time to stop treating crying as weakness.

“If you see someone cry at work, check your bias,” Dober says. “Crying is neutral. It’s a body’s way of self-soothing.”