Brandi Glanville is opening up about the darkest chapter of her life — one that nearly broke her physically, emotionally and financially.

In a w exclusive interview with Us Weekly, the 52-year-old former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star revealed that she hasn’t felt “normal” in two years. “I’ve never felt suicidal before, [but earlier this summer], I didn’t want to be here,” Glanville told the outlet. “And if it wasn’t for my kids, I don’t know that I would be here.”

Glanville — who shares sons Mason and Jake with ex-husband Eddie Cibrian — had been at the top of her reality TV comeback, fresh off The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: Ex-Wives Club and The Traitors, when she signed on for season 4 of RHUGT in Morocco in early 2023. But her momentum came to a halt after accusations of sexual misconduct from costar Caroline Manzo. (In court documents, an executive producer stated that Manzo felt “disrespected” by Glanville but said she did not “sexually violate” her.)

Returning home, Glanville slipped into a deep depression — and then discovered she had contracted a parasite while filming. “Almost immediately upon landing, my phone started blowing up about these articles that were incorrect and not true about what happened in Morocco with Caroline, and I immediately took on a ton of anxiety,” she told Us. “And I was just trying to get my head around what was happening and why it was happening. I was on the couch in a fetal position for four months.”

When she began to reemerge socially, frightening symptoms appeared. “My face started, like, moving around and doing things. I started to lose my eyesight in my left eye. It’s insane,” she said. “At first, my face was blowing up and getting really swollen. Then it started sinking in, and I felt like something was just eating me from the inside. I’m like, ‘It’s eating my flesh.’”

Over the past two years, she’s battled gray spots, severe headaches, fluid draining from her ear into her mouth, and a “sunken-in” face. She’s seen 21 doctors, spent at least $130,000 — much of it out of pocket — and is now financially strained. “I’m paying the minimum on my credit cards. I’ve exhausted my savings,” she told Us. “At my age, I feel like such a loser in a way, because I was taking care of everything. I was together. I had great credit. Now I’m scared about every little thing.”

With the help of healthcare strategist Rachel Strauss, Glanville is working to get her bills reduced and arranged into manageable payment plans. She’s also started a multiphase treatment with infectious disease specialist Dr. Michael R. Scoma, beginning with weeks of IV antibiotics via a PICC line.