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Jess Megan the model and activist appeared on Channel 4’s Bring Back The Bush (Image: Instagram)
A former Channel 4 star has stunned fans after returning to social media to reveal her boyfriend died suddenly — and to expose the devastating year of grief that followed. Jess Megan, the model and activist who appeared on Channel 4’s Bring Back The Bush in 2020, broke a four-year silence this week with a raw video documenting the months after losing her partner, Olli. For many viewers, it was the first time they learned why Jess had disappeared from public view.
Former Channel 4 personality Jess Megan has recently returned to social media, leaving fans stunned as she opened up about the untimely death of her boyfriend and the heart-wrenching year of mourning that followed. Known for her role as a model and activist on Channel 4’s “Bring Back The Bush” in 2020, Jess had been absent from the public eye for four years. This week, she broke that silence by releasing an emotional video that chronicles her journey through grief after losing her partner, Olli.
On Thursday, Jess shared a poignant video composed of 12 brief clips, each representing a month in the year following Olli’s sudden passing. The video offers an unfiltered look at her emotional and physical struggles, starting with joyful moments shared with Olli and concluding with Jess expressing uncertainty about facing another year. Earlier in February, during an appearance on the “Distraction Pieces Podcast” with Scroobius Pip, Jess spoke publicly for the first time about the shock of Olli’s unexpected death.
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Her Instagram video shows the brutal reality of what followed. (Image: Instagram )
“I adored him,” she said, explaining how “deeply in love” she was. Jess recalled getting a phone call from Olli’s flatmate, who told her he had died. She explained it was “sudden adult death” and that he went to bed and never woke up.
Her Instagram video shows the brutal reality of what followed. After Olli’s death, she appeared with a bloody nose and admitted she was sleeping on his grave each night. April and May showed her in tears. By June, she said she hadn’t left the house for months.
In the podcast, Jess shared her deep affection for Olli, describing how profoundly in love she was. She recounted receiving a heartbreaking phone call from Olli’s flatmate, informing her of his death. Jess explained that it was due to “sudden adult death,” as Olli had gone to bed and never awoke.
In October, she ended up in hospital after a heart attack. By November, she said cortisol had “blown everything up”, leaving her unrecognisable. December ended with a stark confession that she “couldn’t do another year of this”.
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Alongside the video, Jess shared a long caption explaining the chaos of grief. “Grief is manic and ungracious. I’d never felt so insane,” she wrote.
“For the first time ever my mind felt like a locked box, with me on the outside.” She described losing control of her behaviour and daily life.
“I was walking to the shop bare-footed in a bathrobe and telling anyone who would listen that my boyfriend was dead. “Then I would drink a box of wine and smoke thirty cigarettes until I couldn’t keep my eyes open.”
She said she documented her breakdown so she wouldn’t forget how bad it became. “To remember how deeply and irrevocably f****d I was, and that if I managed to survive this then I could survive anything.”
Despite the darkness, Jess ended with a message of hope for others. “What I want people to know, is that there is a way out. “If losing Olli has taught me anything, it’s that we really do have such a short time here.”