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Chelsea Handler didn’t hold back during her opening monologue at the Critics’ Choice Awards 2023, held at Fairmont Century Plaza in Los Angeles on Sunday.
The host, 47, took a jab at Prince Harry’s admission of having a frostbitten manhood, joked that Viola Davis is Nick Cannon‘s child, and roasted celebrities for taking weight loss drug Ozempic.
The comedian opened up her monologue poking fun of director Olivia Wilde‘s dramatic press tour: ‘Between covid, monkeypox, the “Don’t Worry Darling” press tour, it’s been a lot.’
No holding back: Chelsea Handler didn’t hold back during her opening monologue at the Critics Choice Awards 2023, held at Fairmont Century Plaza in Los Angeles on Sunday
The star later took umbrage with Prince Harry’s intimate revelations in his new autobiography Spare, where he shared that his penis had become injured during a grueling charity trek through the North Pole in 2011.
‘Dahmer became the third highest viewed show on Netflix with a combined watch time of 1 billion hours, which apparently is the same amount of time we’re going to have to listen to prince Harry talk about his frostbitten penis. It’s enough, already.’
She went on to joke about Nick Cannon’s ever-expending brood, quipping that actress Viola Davis might be one of his 12 children: ‘The Woman King was a huge hit at the box office. Oh, yeah! Viola, I cannot get enough of you. You were so bada** in this movie, after it ended, I wanted you to kick my a**.’
‘As part of Viola’s training for the film, she was given a DNA test to determine the best workout regimen for her genetic make-up, which also revealed that she’s Nick Cannon’s daughter.’
Funny: The host, 47, took a jab at Prince Harry’s admission of having a frostbitten manhood, joked that Viola Davis is Nick Cannon’s child, and roasted celebrities for taking weight loss drug Ozempic
Chelsea continued her roast by addressing celebrities who’ve gaslit their fans by claiming they’ve lost weight by drinking water, when in reality they’ve been taking the recently-popular antidiabetic medication called Ozempic.
‘Julia Roberts is here tonight! Yeah, she’s nominated for playing Martha Mitchell in “Gaslit.” Yes. We love you, Julia. The word “Gaslighting” was actually Merriam Webster’s word of the year.’
‘And for those of you who don’t know, gaslighting is when someone tries to convince you that your own perceptions of reality are wrong. Like when celebrities say they lost weight by drinking water, but really it’s because everyone’s on Ozempic. Even my housekeeper’s on Ozempic.’
‘Enough already’: The star took umbrage with Prince Harry’s intimate revelations in his new autobiography Spare, where he shared that his penis had become injured during a grueling charity trek through the North Pole in 2011
Over it: ‘Dahmer became the third highest viewed show on Netflix with a combined watch time of 1 billion hours, which apparently is the same amount of time we’re going to have to listen to prince Harry talk about his frostbitten penis’
Chelsea also took a dig at the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade last year: ‘I’m just happy to be here tonight supporting the critics’ right to choose. At least someone still has a choice, unless they’re a female critic, then it depends on what state they live in.’
Handler next took a swipe at Ellen DeGeneres, who was hit with claims of creating a toxic work environment on her talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
‘Cate Blanchett is here tonight. Cate, as far as I’m concerned, you should win an Oscar every year just for being alive. In “Tar” Cate portrayed an “Iconic lesbian” after playing a conductor whose professional career is upended by her toxic behavior. And she didn’t even have to host her own daytime talk show.’
In good fun: She went on to joke about Nick Cannon’s ever-expending brood, quipping that actress Viola Davis might be one of his 12 children
![DNA test: 'As part of Viola's training for the film [The Woman King], she was given a DNA test to determine the best workout regimen for her genetic make-up, which also revealed that she's Nick Cannon's daughter'](https://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/01/16/01/66607873-11638793-image-a-45_1673833184779.jpg)
DNA test: ‘As part of Viola’s training for the film [The Woman King], she was given a DNA test to determine the best workout regimen for her genetic make-up, which also revealed that she’s Nick Cannon’s daughter’
She also made fun of conservatives for their reaction to covid flight mandates: ‘Kaley Cuoco is nominated for “The Flight Attendant.” Special shout out to flight attendants everywhere. Because of what they’ve had to put up with for the past three years.’
‘Just a bunch of innocent women and gay men who wanted to spend a couple of extra weekends a year in Puerto Vallarta, then had to spend their shifts duct-taping right-wing whack-jobs to their seats.’
Chelsea then took a swipe at the disparity between budgets given to male and female directors: ‘Of course one of the biggest movies this year was “Avatar: The Way of Water.” I don’t want to say that studios treat male and female directors differently, but James Cameron was given a budget of $350 million and Sarah Polley had to film “Women Talking” in a barn.’
‘But, I guess it all worked out, because they’re both up for best picture. “Women Talking” is a powerful movie, but warning to men: Women will definitely be talking.’
Gaslighting: Chelsea continued her roast by addressing celebrities who’ve gaslit their fans by claiming they’ve lost weight by drinking water, when in reality they’ve been taking the recently-popular antidiabetic medication called Ozempic
Ozempic drama: ‘For those of you who don’t know, gaslighting is when someone tries to convince you that your own perceptions of reality are wrong. Like when celebrities say they lost weight by drinking water, but really it’s because everyone’s on Ozempic’
Chelsea also roasted television host James Corden, after a restaurant owner called him out for his rude behavior towards staff last year.
‘Look, the cast of “The Bear” is here. Awesome show. They showed us how grueling and hellish and absolutely miserable working in the restaurant industry can be, and they didn’t even have to wait on James Corden.’
She later took aim at Kanye West – whose career and net worth has gone into freefall amid his anti-Semitism scandal.
‘We’ve all heard a lot of nonsense recently about Jews running Hollywood. And I would like to say, as a Jewish woman, so what if they do? Who cares? The French run bakeries, Italians run the mafia, and Swedish people run IKEA. Okay? Stay in your lane.’
She wrapped up her monologue saying: ‘Anyhoo, it’s an honor to be here tonight to help all of you celebrate the brilliant results of your hard work, your talent and your dedication. This past year, you’ve entertained us, you’ve moved us, enlightened us, and for the first time, congress is more dysfunctional than Hollywood.’
‘It even has more sex offenders. So we’ve already won! Let’s get this show started.’
The Critics Choice Awards are bestowed annually by the Critics Choice Association to honor the finest in cinematic and television achievement.
Source: | Dailymail.co.uk
