Rachael Stirling, whose mother appeared in Game of Thrones, has revealed that she once consumed a small amount of her late mother’s ashes before stepping onstage. The 49-year-old actor has built an accomplished career across television and film, with credits including The Detectorists, The Bletchley Circle and The Game.
Her theatre work has seen her perform alongside acclaimed actors such as Chiwetel Ejiofor, while her portrayal of Lady Chiltern in An Ideal Husband earned her a Laurence Olivier Award nomination. In 2022, Stirling appeared in the stage production Scandaltown—the show connected to the deeply personal ritual she later described.
In her memoir, All About My Mother, Stirling reflects on her Tony and BAFTA-winning parent and recounts an extraordinary moment before the opening night of a new play: she consumed some of her mother’s ashes as a way of feeling close to her.
“I eat her ashes before going on stage,” she wrote. Stirling explained that, although the admission often shocks people, it feels entirely natural to her. She described herself as being wrapped in and protected by her mother, calling her “my superpower.”
The revelation stunned many readers, despite Stirling’s comfort with sharing it in print. She later revisited the unusual incident to explain exactly what happened on the first night of Scandaltown.
Stirling had taken a tube containing her mother’s ashes into her dressing room. She could not work out how to bring it onto the stage, so it remained there while she prepared for the performance.
It was her first opening night since her mother’s death. Writing for the Guardian, Stirling said she opened the tube the wrong way, sending a small quantity of the ashes scattering across the table.
While trying to gather the remains and put them back into the container, she suddenly heard the announcement calling her to the stage. With little time to react, she made a spontaneous decision.
Stirling recalled licking her finger, picking up the spilled fragments and placing them on her tongue. She said the ashes felt grainy but not disturbing; instead, the absurdity of the moment made her laugh. By the time she went onstage, she added, her nerves had vanished.
Later, Stirling told a widow at a social gathering what she had done, expecting a horrified response. Instead, the woman quietly revealed that she had carried out the same gesture herself, but had never told anyone.
Since that 2022 performance, Stirling says the act has become part of her pre-show routine. Whenever the announcement gives the five-minute warning on press night, she consumes a small amount of her mother’s ashes before performing.