The Back Of JD Vance's Hair Exposes His Bad Hairline & Great Clips Cut
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Listen, we’ve all had bad hair days. However, that didn’t stop netizens from poking fun at JD Vance when he was photographed with a less-than-stellar-looking ‘do. Between the jarring fade and the fact that it looked like he was rocking a toupee, social media had a field day trolling the then-vice presidential candidate after a particularly unflattering video went viral.

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As a brief refresher, Vance had been campaigning in Valdosta, Georgia, in August 2024 when he ducked into a sweet shop for some donuts. Unfortunately, the candidate was filmed primarily from behind, overhead lighting and all (if you listen closely, you may hear Mariah Carey groaning at the very idea) — and thus, we were gifted with a full-access view of the “Hillbilly Elegy” author’s unfortunate mushroom-esque cut, which made Donald Trump’s signature combover look like art by comparison. 

“No matter what side you’re on, I think we can all agree that the back of JD Vance’s head looks like a shaved pineapple,” wrote one Facebook user. Over on Reddit, one user compared him to an “Ice Age” character, Manny the woolly mammoth. There also emerged two camps of people: those who believed it was a bad cut, and those who questioned if it was a badly-placed toupee. In the latter camp, one Redditor mused, “People have to realize that’s a poorly placed piece.” Another agreed, wondering if it had been put on the wrong way. As for those who thought it was just an awful cut, some believed it was intentional. “Whoever cut his hair saw an opportunity and took it. Hero,” a Redditor wrote. And then, there were those in the middle who came up with another theory. “He told his barber gimme the toupée top,” an X user speculated. In a word: yikes. 

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Some blamed JD’s hairstyle on his awkward conversation

Amid all the jokes about whether JD Vance had a bad haircut or a bad hairpiece, another theory came to the fore. That is, that Vance had made the same bizarre request of his barber as he’d done to the employees at the sweet shop. 

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In case you missed the awkward YouTube video, Vance struggled to make conversation with the employees, who were very clearly uncomfortable with him and his entourage being in the store. Exhibit A: when he told one of the employees that he was the vice presidential candidate and her reply was an unenthusiastic, “Okay.” It’s not clear if he was thrown by that, but then we had exhibit B: Vance asking the two employees for “a lot of glazed and cinnamon rolls and then, just whatever makes sense.” Welp. Enter, the YouTube comments section. “Dog do you not know how placing an order works wtf are you talking about,” joked one viewer. As for how it pertained to his hair, Redditors joked that Vance’s conversation with his barber had probably been much the same. “How do you want your hair cut, sir? Just whatever makes sense,” quipped one. “Bowl, buzz, crew, just whatever you got back there,” joked another in reply. 

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Of course, Vance did subsequently tell NBC News that his awkwardness came down to feeling uncomfortable for one of the employees in particular. “There’s 20 Secret Service agents, and there’s 15 cameras, and she clearly had not been properly warned, and she was terrified, right? I just felt awful for her,” he said. Honestly, considering Vance’s shady side, noting the woman’s discomfort is pretty commendable in itself. As for the hair, Vance opted not to address the jokes at his expense. However, something tells us he’ll never attempt the same haircut again. 



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