Sister Wives star Kody Brown continued to open up about his late son Robert Garrison Brown’s death on the TLC show, and he even revealed he asked the cemetery sexton if he could dig his grave.

“Here’s the thing. I talked to the sexton of the cemetery, and he’s the one that would normally dig the graves,” Kody, 56, said during the Sunday, May 18, episode as a clip showed him arriving at the grave site. “I just asked him [for] permission if I could dig it. It means something to me. I don’t know why. It’s something deeply emotional.”

Not only did Kody dig Garrison’s grave, but he was helped by his brother Scott Brown and his brother-in-law, Tim. Kody said the trio was particularly important because they were “the men group who nurtured” Garrison “into maturity.”

While Kody did not bring the urn that Garrison’s ashes will be placed in, he explained that his daughter Aspyn Brown’s husband, Mitch Thompson, was “making something different” and he didn’t know what it looked like at the time.

“For the act of effort in this, because we’re not digging a grave big enough for a coffin, I’m going to make it a little bit bigger than certainly that I need for this urn,” Kody – who shared Garrison with ex-wife Janelle Brown – explained. “I want the experience of doing some real effort here.”

He continued, “Just trying to honor my son as best I can. I don’t even know if it’s honor. It’s mourning.”

Garrison – who died in March 2024 at the age of 25 by suicide – was buried near family members in Wyoming, including his Grandma Cheryl who “probably nurtured Garrison as much as any of us.”

“I’ve never done anything like this, digging a grave,” Kody said. “I think this is one of the most important things I’ve ever done. It’s the last ode to my boy.”

Later in the episode, Janelle, 56, revealed Kody had contacted her about his wishes to dig Garrison’s grave. “I thought it was perfect,” she said. “I think it’s symbolic and poetic and all the things to have Kody dig that hole.”

Fans have been watching the family grieve Garrison’s death during the latest episodes of the reality show, and Kody has had a particularly hard time due to his estranged relationship with Garrison at the time of his passing.

“Grief hits you in waves. When it hits me, I can’t run from it,” he said during the May 11 episode. “If I cry it out, or if I sob it out, I can cut it short, but when that wave comes, I cannot prevent it from affecting me.”

After opening up about choosing where Garrison was buried, Kody admitted he was still having a hard time accepting Garrison’s death.

“Sometimes out of the blue, out of the blue, it’ll overcome me. Almost, like, some kind of anxiety attack,” the father of 18 said. “Just a deep, overwhelming feeling that I’ll never see him again. There’s so much left unsaid, so much left undone.”