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Credit: Instagram
Tamra Judge is opening up about her current relationship with her 40-year-old son, Ryan Vieth, after a heated family dispute reportedly began over his social media posts, including his support for President Donald Trump and comments that appeared to be transphobic.
During a conversation about her three younger children — Sidney Barney, 26, Spencer Barney, 25, and Sophia Barney, 21 — whom she shares with ex-husband Simon Barney, 62, the 59-year-old Real Housewives of Orange County personality also reflected on her period of estrangement from Ryan. She explained why she has a different approach to being a grandmother to his 11-year-old daughter, Ava.
“It started with Ryan’s social media posts,” Tamra said during the September 24 episode of the RHOC: After Show. “I told him I didn’t agree with what he was saying and that I didn’t align with it. I said he needed to stop, and he became angry and left. Then it turned into him saying, ‘You’re not a good grandmother, and you’re not there for Ava all the time.’”
Tamra said she reminded Ryan that her work schedule prevents her from being the same type of grandmother her own mother was. “I work. I’m not the grandmother my mom was to you,” she explained. “She stayed home and cared for you when I couldn’t be there. I understand that, and I wish things could be different. But right now, I’m working not only toward my own retirement, but also to help provide for all of you.” She added, “There will be a time when I slow down, but that time isn’t now. I’m the grandmother who’s going to buy you a Gucci bag.”
Tamra acknowledged that the conflict with Ryan became particularly unpleasant, but said she ultimately felt the relationship had been repaired. “At the end of the day, I won,” she declared.
She recalled that Ryan even spoke with his siblings on Mother’s Day, warning them that their mother might say things they did not want to hear. “He told the other kids, ‘Mom might give you a hard time, and she might say things you don’t believe or trust. But most of the time, she’s right,’” Tamra said. “So there you have it. We’re great 1790419772. He calls me every single day.”
Although Tamra expects to have more time for Ava in the future, she said she is not currently the kind of grandmother who can simply bring her grandchildren home and spend the entire day with them.
“I’ve been raising children for 40 years,” she said. “At this point, I don’t want to raise anyone else’s kids unless I absolutely have to. They’re doing a wonderful job, so we’ll leave it there.”
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Tamra also discussed her daughter Sophia’s past struggles with anxiety, which intensified while she was moving between Tamra’s home and Simon’s home.
“It was incredibly difficult for her, and the anxiety became overwhelming,” Tamra revealed. Sophia eventually moved in with her mother full time at age 14 or 15. Tamra said that, as a result, Sophia’s relationship with her father weakened significantly, and the two may not have spoken in roughly five years. She added that Spencer is also currently estranged from Simon.
“And yet I’m the one considered the bad parent because of Sidney,” Tamra added.
Fans of RHOC have followed Tamra’s long-running estrangement from Sidney, as well as the public disagreements that have unfolded over statements made both in interviews and on the reality series.
“People don’t understand that the divorce split the family, and the children ended up going in different directions,” Tamra said. “That’s not what I wanted, and it was never how I imagined things. It’s a heartbreaking situation.”
She went on to describe Sophia’s difficult teenage years, saying high school was especially painful for her daughter.
“I was so worried about her,” Tamra recalled. Sophia had lost a close friend to suicide after middle school, then faced bullying in high school while also dealing with the breakdown of her relationship with her father. “She went through so much,” Tamra said. Eventually, Sophia decided to take control of her future. “She reached a point where she said, ‘I can’t keep doing this. I’m responsible for my own feelings. I’m going to exercise, stay positive, move forward, go to college and accomplish these things.’ And she did. It was incredibly hard, but she came through it. I kept praying, ‘God, please make her okay.’”
Alongside pursuing her entertainment goals, Sophia is also in a relationship with her boyfriend, Nico. Tamra said he has had a “very positive influence” on her daughter.
Tamra said the couple has been together for a year and that Nico is Sophia’s first boyfriend. “She was a virgin when she met him,” she shared. While Tamra said she cares about Nico and could imagine the pair marrying someday, she emphasized that Sophia is still young at nearly 21. Nico has one year of school remaining, after which the couple hopes to move to New York.
The Real Housewives of Orange County season 20 airs Thursdays at 8/7c on Bravo.