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We are at the finish line with the finale for our Real Housewives of Potomac! Candiace will be sharing her video for “Insecure,” and Robyn’s wedding will be tacked on to the end of the episode! Let’s close this messy chapter of RHOP, shall we?
Ashley is dealing with her angry toddler Dean, and we can all relate to the frustration. She shares that he has been acting out lately. Ashley shows us a home that she believes she is going to get in Arlington. She wants to call her mom, Sheila, and she mentions that Dean is having some separation anxiety over leaving Michael. Ashley still does not regret her decision to leave Michael. She did buy the house together with Michael despite being advised not to. Sheila made a face with her eyes rolling around when she heard that news. In her ITM, a producer asks Ashley who will pay the $13k mortgage. She is feeling her wig tighten being asked this question since she knows that she is still ‘on the dole from the troll.’
Robyn and Juan are working out with their boys. She is trying to get into wedding shape. Robyn has recently admitted that there are some truths to Juan’s cheating rumors. She has shared that she knew about this woman and believes Juan’s innocent explanation. Robyn is clearly fine with staying in this dysfunctional relationship and accepting Juan’s fictional stories.
Candiace is chatting with her sister about her video release party. She needs to wear that mustard color more often since it is a very flattering color on her. Candiace has really turned a corner this season — she started out on the defensive, but she now has become a happier person. I then had to change my opinion when she said she would do a collaboration with Erika?!?
Karen gives Mia a call to chat about what went down at the bachelorette party. Mia tells Karen how Charrisse said she sleeps with random walking d*cks. Karen wants to know if Mia defended her and is insulted that she kept mum. She is going to put her friend in timeout over not standing up for her. They make a truce — for now — to not give any weight to anything Charrisse says.
Robyn has her parents, Guy and Gladys, come over to see her home. She tells them about going to Juan’s brother’s wedding. Robyn then tells her mom and dad they are getting remarried in Jamaica. Gladys wishes that she and her husband would have been included since they have groomed Robyn to believe this is the best she can do love Juan.
Mia and Gordon go to the dermatologist for her issue with her lymph nodes. She wants to know about the biopsy, and she is given good news. Production shows all the versions that Mia has been telling people about her cancer scare. Gordon sums it up for us by saying it is just topical and treatable.
Gizelle and her daughters are enjoying the candy store, and she tries to engage them in talk about her guy, Steve. He is an old friend from 30 years ago, and I am glad she is not recycling Sherman. Gizelle is trying to get the girls to give her some commentary on Steve. She then shares with the girls that she needs surgery to remove some uterine fibroids. Gizelle says that they are going to have to remove her uterus. She needs to give her girls a lesson about their reproductive organs. It is hilarious when they conclude that she will now need fewer fans at church! Side note: I love her girls since they cannot hide their skepticism when Gizelle talks to them. The other ladies need to handle Gizelle in this way since these girls are so authentic in their scenes with their mom.
Wendy calls Karen, and they talk about Mia not stepping up for her when the rumors were flying at the bachelorette party. Wendy gives us a quote from the great Martin Luther King, Jr.: “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” She is right since Karen seems to be more hurt by Mia sitting silently than by the others’ hateful words.
We have arrived at the big party for Candiace’s video release party. Chris and Gizelle pass each other and awkwardly say hello. Candiace is expecting an announcement of her presence, and then I see Charrisse, and my mouth drops. Bravo, please stop trying to make her happen since I cannot take another season of such bad fashion. I am already on the brink of despair with Gizelle and Robyn’s style choices!
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Ashley and Wendy are chatting about the box-eating Mia. I just lost my appetite for the snack sitting next to me with that visual. I just spied Askale at the party. Wendy is okay with sharing her “Godiva Goddess lady parts” with Mia and might let her touch them. Please make sure that Mia washes her hands first since God knows where they have been inserted before!
Candiace thanks everyone, and she specifically thanks her man, Chris. He tells her how proud he is of her. Candiace will allow no one to break them up. We get to see the video, and she looks great in it. The quality is definitely better than the first one. Mia is glad she was able to graduate from shooting in an abandoned parking lot. Gizelle is so clearly green with envy in her ITM, and she pretends she cannot even remember the song. She must know that she and Robyn were the inspiration for the lyrics of “Insecure” right? Sorry, I could not help myself with that one!
Gizelle then tells Karen that her buddy Mia has called Karen a prostitute. She then backpedals and admits to being messy. Karen will not allow anyone to mess with the Ambassador to Surry County. Ashley just wants Karen to admit she has an open relationship. Karen is in no mood to defend herself tonight. She does not want Charrisse breathing in her airspace and lets her know that she hears her but is not listening. Side note: I know Karen is not all she pretends to be, but she is a caricature of delusion, and I enjoy listening to her pontificate on her grandness.
Karen and Ray are not entertaining this nonsense and are trying to leave. Mia stops them from leaving and comes up with another story about Karen bobbing and weaving in a Vegas bathroom. Karen hears this accusation but is not listening. Karen wants to rip that mic off so she can tell Ray about it. Poor Ray does not want to leave and is rather pitifully stuck holding her purse.
Gizelle now pretends like she is up for talking to Chris like an adult would. Ashley instead grabs the shady baton from the socially inept Gizelle. She decides to call Chris out on his nasty Twitter comments. Chris is not going to sit down anymore and allow these ladies to portray him as the grabbing a*s Michael Darby 2.0. He decides to leave the scene and Candiace tells him she is finally done with Ashley…
We then get our closing comments: Ashley and her kids moved into their new home in October, and she briefly dated Luke Gulbranson, but they have since called it quits. It is probably because Luke does not interact with trolls. Candiace is going on a five-city tour. She is seeing more of Chris since he is no longer working at the hotel. Karen expanded her evening with the Grande Dame tour, but her number one fan still is her husband Ray.
Giselle had her hysterectomy and made a full recovery. She is also dating another young Bravolebrity. Wendy is kickboxing as a way to decompress, and she is hydrating. Mia’s health is good, but her finances not-so-much. They have lost several of their franchises and moved out of their Potomac house.
Robyn never got around to that prenup with Juan, and she married him on August 24, 2022, in Maryland. She has her parents in attendance, and a friend hooked her up with a beautiful venue. Robyn looks gorgeous, and she believes that going through good and bad times creates longevity. Five months later, Robyn admitted that Juan had been inappropriately communicating with another woman prior to their wedding, but they have worked through the issue. Phew, finally this messy season of box eaters and pu*sy for Porsche allegations is done!
Next week, we have part one of the RHOP reunion. Chris has a whole lot of smoke to bring to the reunion. Charrisse is there, and she acts like there are more rumors to be shared. Have a fabulous week, Blurbers, and thanks for hanging in with me all season! I will see you guys in the Garden State on Tuesday when our Jersey wives are back.
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