Teddi Mellencamp is opening up about her divorce from Edwin Arroyave, as she continues her fight against Stage 4 cancer, and discussing the media attention her life has received since the announcement of their split.

The former star of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills appeared on The Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast, where she tackled the speculations about her divorce and her supposed involvement with a “horse trainer.” “This subject has been everywhere in the media, so, the horse trainer?” Jamie inquired of Teddi.

Teddi shared that she had “never spoken about it at all” until now, mainly due to her three young children with Edwin. “And I’ve never wanted anybody to have, you know, a certainty on whether it occurred or did not occur,” she confessed.

“But what I can say is, did I do things that hurt other people? Yes,” she continued. “To this day, does it still hurt my heart? And I wonder if that’s why I got cancer? Yes. I think it was my payback. So nothing goes without payment, I guess.”

“But, yeah, that entire, however long it was, that it was all over the press, it was everywhere,” she explained. “And you know, you’re trying to minimize everyone’s pain, you end up maximizing it.”

She continued, admitting that during that point in her life when the rumors arose, she was trying to find comfort. Even though she had not been diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer at that point, she was not feeling well.

“I think I was so sick during that stage, because remember how I told you there was like months of headaches and stuff like that?” she recalled. “I was looking for comfort anywhere I could get it. I felt so much pain. I felt so sick. I didn’t go to the doctors. I didn’t…And I just felt some certain kind of way.”

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“I wasn’t myself,” she continued. “And I’m not going to blame that I was sick. And I do think a bunch of things happened in my life all around the same time and I had zero control over any of them. Like I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Will this make me feel better? No. Will this? Will this? Will this? Will this? Will this?”

Teddi Mellencamp shares an update on her divorce from Edwin Arroyave

During the podcast, Teddi said that it’s been hard navigating her divorce from Edwin amid her illness. “All I’ve learned from all of this is I don’t know anything,” she revealed. “I know I’ve got to just put one foot in front of the other day by day.”

RELATED: Teddi Mellencamp Shares an Emotional Update on Her Cancer Journey & Immunotherapy Treatment

After revealing that she had put her divorce from Edwin on “pause” in April, she admitted that she now doesn’t know how to label their relationship. “Well I don’t know what to call it,” she continued during the podcast. “What do you call it when you’re on a divorce and then somebody gets cancer, almost passes away, so then you have to put it on hold. Hold? Hold sounds worse than break. There’s no good answer.”

Teddi Mellencamp shares an update on her cancer journey

Teddi recently took to Instagram in late July where she offered up a small upate on how she’s feeling amid her cancer battle as she also tries to navigate work obligations.

“Felling better and not taking it for granted. Which means I’m back to work after taking last week off. And if you know me that was completely against my instincts. I guess you could call that growth,” she wrote. “Having cancer has broken my heart but has taught me so much about myself. Thanks everyone for checking in. How is your week going?”

Find out where Teddi stands in her dating life amid her separation from Edwin.