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Parenting involves a series of crucial decisions, one of which is fostering independent thought in children.
Parents generally aim for their children to develop the ability to form their own views rather than simply going along with the crowd. Though this objective might seem simple, experts emphasize that it requires deliberate effort and consistency. Here are five expert-endorsed strategies to nurture independent thinking in kids.
Give Them Space
Dr. Stephanie Irby Coard, a professor specializing in human development and family studies at the University of North Carolina Greensboro, advises parents to create opportunities for their children to lead and solve problems independently. While it’s tempting to step in immediately, allowing children to attempt solutions on their own can be more beneficial. Of course, if they encounter significant difficulties, parental intervention becomes necessary, but try to resist the urge and observe what they can accomplish first.
“Cultivating independence in children starts at a young age, with the approach evolving as they grow,” Dr. Coard explained in an interview with Parents.com. Parents can offer verbal guidance, empowering children to navigate challenges on their own.
“Teaching children to be independent begins in early childhood, and will look different and be guided differently based on a child’s age,” says Dr. Coard in an interview with Parents.com. You can verbally guide them, allowing them to figure things out on their own.
Set Examples
We all know that children learn by example. They are little sponges that constantly mimic everything that the adults in their lives do. If you set examples of making good decisions, honesty, hard work, being fair with others, etc. etc., they will observe how you do things and learn first-hand how to craft their own paths.
“That’s how creative thinkers are born,” Claire Lerner, child development and parenting expert in the same interview.
Listen Before You Speak
This one is sometimes very hard to do, but extremely important if you want to raise a child that will think for themselves.
“Teaching kids to think for themselves means parents must gradually loosen the reins so children can gain valuable confidence and experience making self-guided decisions,” says Dr. Coard. “Support your child’s need to build some sense of autonomy by giving advice only after you hear what they have to say and what their sense of direction is.”
Challenge Them
This is something that a parent can do with a child of any age. If you have a toddler and they are trying to pull up, don’t jump in and help them right away. Cheer them on, let them know that they can do it. Nine times out of ten, they will all on their own.
For older children, Dr. Conrad suggests giving them hypothetical situations to work through and encourage them to journal or self-talk through their decision-making processes.
“For older kids, [encourage] them to use self-talk or write in a journal to help guide their decisions.”
She concluded, “It doesn’t have to be a pushy, militant mental exercise, but asking them why they’re making certain decisions during everyday conversation can help facilitate their ability (and desire) to think for themselves.”
Remind Them Mistakes Are Okay
Everyone makes mistakes and it is important for parents to let their children know that making mistakes is okay and it is a part of everyday life.
“Discuss and normalize the fact that people make mistakes and that learning from them is what is most important,” says Dr. Coard.