Discipline is a tricky dance between parent and child. Even the most well-meaning parents can misstep. According to child psychologist experts, these are five discipline mistakes that parents should avoid.

Scolding a child in public

“… avoid disciplining your child in front of other people. When you do that, they may be more focused on who’s overhearing the conversation than on what you’re trying to teach them,” Erica Reischer, PhD, author of What Great Parents Do: 75 Simple Strategies for Raising Kids Who Thrive, said in an interview with Parents.com.

When kids are disciplined in public, they may shut down, get defensive, or act out even more. Keeping those moments private helps your child stay open and receptive, and it reinforces that the goal isn’t to shame them, but to help them grow.

Giving your child vague instructions

“Make your directions as specific as possible,” Larissa Niec, PhD, director of Central Michigan University’s Center for Children, Families, and Communities, in Mount Pleasant advises.

Children may not fully grasp what you are trying to say with vague instructions, leaving room for them to interpret things as they see fit. The experts share this particular example: “Please hang your jacket on the peg when you come inside,” instead saying of “Don’t throw your stuff on the floor.”

The same advice holds true for reprimands. Be clear and specific and your message won’t be lost in interpretations

Bribing children

Bribing may get you faster results, but in the long run, it hurts more than helping, it’s the complete opposite. “Bribing is actually rewarding a child’s bad behavior,” Jeffrey Gardere, PhD, coauthor of Practical Parenting.

Bribing a child teaches the wrong lessons, reinforces bad behaviors, derails emotional development, and puts the power of discipline in the child’s hands, not the parent’s.

Freaking Out

“Kids can’t absorb a lesson when they’re being screamed at. They either shut down or get mad in response,” states Dr. Niec.

So next time discipline moment presents itself and your frustration level with the situation is at a full-blown 12, don’t lose it. Remember, yelling or snapping is only going to pour gas on to an already charged situation. Keep your cool and address the behavior with a calm, steady tone. And if you need a minute to get there? Take five for yourself, catch your breath, and come back ready to be a super parent.

Letting things slide

By not addressing issues when they first occur teaches your child inconsistency in your discipline. That is definitely not a good thing as “Inconsistency sends the signal that you’re not truly in charge,” Dr. Gardere told the outlet.

You don’t have to come down like a hammer every time, but consistently addressing negative behaviors shows your child you’re paying attention, you care, and you’re helping them learn and make better choices.

Avoiding these five common discipline mistakes can make a big difference in how your child learns, grows, and responds to boundaries. With consistency, calm, and clear communication, you’re setting the stage to discipline like a parenting pro.