Gabrielle Union hasn’t exactly kept it a secret why she looks so great in her older years. But the Bring It On star didn’t always have the same confidence in herself that she has now. Back when she was younger, Union felt a lot of pressure trying to live up to, what she believed, was Hollywood’s nearly unattainable standard of beauty. Eventually, doing so admittedly began to take its toll.

Gabrielle Union revealed what she learned about herself in her older years

Union has been very open about how challenging being in the film industry has been. In a business that was already notorious for its treatment of women, Union’s self-esteem took a few hits. Perhaps one of the most infamous examples of her unpleasant experiences in Hollywood was the actor being told she wasn’t pretty enough for a role.

“Years ago, I was up for a big job,” Union once said in an interview with Netflix. “And after numerous callbacks, and studio tests, it was down to just the two of us. I was told I didn’t get the part because, ‘She’s just prettier than you.’ For someone who had low self-esteem, it just felt like there was no place for me, for my kind of Blackness.”

Although she didn’t get into specifics, many speculated that the show she was referencing was Scandal, a series some compared to Being Mary Jane. But it wasn’t the only time Union dealt with that kind of rejection. Because of Hollywood expectations, Union invested decades’ worth of energy trying to be more beautiful. In hindsight, the Bad Boys II star realized this was a mistake.

“When I was younger, I hated everything about [my hair]. I wanted it to be anything but what it was,” Union said in an interview with People. “I wasted so much of my youth in my twenties, thirties and certainly my teens wanting to be someone else. I was inundated with images and messages saying, ‘You’re just not as pretty as so-and-so.’”

“The images that I saw on TV and in magazines and film reaffirmed what they were saying. That I wasn’t ‘it’, and people who look like me aren’t ‘it,’” she added. “You couldn’t possibly have that ‘it factor’ and have hair like mine or skin like mine.”

Gabrielle Union grew into her confidence after she hit her 40s

Union had a huge turning point when she entered her 40s. This was a decade that saw her settling into family life with Dwyane Wade. She also ended up starring in her own series Being Mary Jane, which had everything Union wanted in a show. Additionally, she had an epiphany about herself that made living in general a bit easier.

“For me, I don’t give a s***—I just don’t! I don’t give a s***. It started in my 40s, where you have your basket of f***s and you slowly start to empty them. In your mind, it feels like the world is going to end if you don’t care deeply about what everyone thinks about every single thing. And then, you realize the world keeps on ticking,” she said in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar.

“You might be news for 2.5 seconds, but ultimately, no one cares. So do exactly what you want to do, and say no. Don’t say yes to be courteous if you don’t want to go. I say no, hell no, f*** no, never no, and I only say yes to the things I really want to do. And I’m gonna show up with a good attitude, and I’m not going to be looking for the exit. I just started living for myself, and it freed me. It really felt like a gorilla hopped off my back,” she added.

Additionally, she’s seemingly maintained her youthfulness well into her 50s with a few beauty tricks that are splurgeworthy. But despite her young energy and appearance, Union has felt like she’s been in her 50s even before she turned 50.

“I feel like I’ve been 51 for a long-ass time; my references are old as hell. But I have energy, and I try to keep my finger on the pulse, and you know, I try to stay good in most hoods as long as I can, which I think helps you stay youthful in spirit,” she said.