Content warning: This article includes discussions of suicide.

Jamie McPhee is adapting to life’s new reality.

Just days after her husband, James Ransone, took his own life at 46 on December 19, Jamie began to share her journey of coping with this profound loss while raising their children, Jack, 6, and Violet, 4.

On December 23, she took to Instagram to recount a moment from their day. “After visiting the park, they wanted ice cream,” she wrote, describing their trip to a nearby mall. “Violet chose a pink backpack, and Jack insisted on getting something from the Lego store, which we then built together.”

Reflecting on the outing, Jamie noted, “For the first time, I became aware that people recognized me. In the food court, I overheard someone say, ‘ask her.’”

And while the mom of two was grateful that strangers did not approach her about James’ passing, she said the experience made her realize how “you never really know what people are going through.”

“In many moments we looked…happy. Normal. Laughing. Smiling,” she wrote. “How? Not because we aren’t grieving. We are. But because I have two beautiful, incredible children who force me *daily* to see all the love and all the light that still exists inside of this.”