Jax Taylor is opening up about his struggles with substance abuse. The reality star, who gained fame as Vanderpump Rules‘ resident bad boy, revealed that he has been addicted to cocaine for more than 20 years.

“I have substance issues — primarily with cocaine,” Taylor told Bravo producer Alex Baskin in the latest episode of the Hot Mic podcast. “It’s hard to say out loud. I’ve been dealing with this on and off since I was 23 and now I’m 45. There was times where I would stop doing it but then there were times where I’d go heavy on it.”

While Taylor acknowledged that fans “could kind of tell” he was “on something,” he also said no one who worked on production actually knew what he was doing.

“Everything I was doing was on my own but I was just on that train and I couldn’t get off,” he added.

According to Taylor — who now stars on The Valley with his estranged wife Brittany Cartwright and former Vanderpump Rules co-star Kristen Doute —  he is now 83 days sober from both alcohol and drugs.

“People ask you, ‘Do you have an alcohol problem, too?’” he said on the podcast. “I don’t necessarily think I have an alcohol problem but the two go hand in hand. I can’t do cocaine without drinking. So I just gave up both.”

“I just want to let people know this is a really, really tough disease and it’s a really tough sickness,” Taylor continued. “I’ve never said this in my life. So to come out and say that I have an addiction [and] that I have a sickness that I have to work on the rest of my life is a really big deal for me. Obviously, it’s a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.”

Cartwright, who filed for divorce and sole custody of their 3-year-old son Cruz last year, released a statement to People saying she’s glad Taylor “finally admitted to what was really going on.”

“For the first time, I can speak openly about the extent of trauma he’s instilled on our family over the years,” she continued. “I’ve tried desperately to help him without success. I pray that one day he completely knocks this addiction, but I’m skeptical. His behaviors are still alarming and his treatment plan seems to be the bare minimum.”

Cartwright added, “I’m trying to navigate this as best as I can for my son and I, but every day is still a challenge and very difficult. Jax has caused an enormous amount of damage and I have very little trust in him at this point. My only hope is that one day, he will be a better person for his son.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357.