Jay-Z and Beyoncé have been married for 16 years, but their relationship hasn’t always been easy. The two have had to weather several issues while solidifying their bond. But perhaps Jay-Z realized how much he didn’t want to lose his wife when he got a taste of her leaving.

Jay-Z said his marriage to Beyoncé wasn’t based on 100% truth

Jay-Z felt he and Beyoncé survived issues that most couples wouldn’t. He and his wife have always been a bit vague about what, exactly, jeopardized their marriage. But many feel the couple hinted that Jay-Z cheated, which Beyoncé heavily alluded to on her Lemonade album. If this were the case, however, Jay-Z wasn’t going to give up on his marriage so easily. However, he confided that whatever nearly jeopardized their relationship was the hardest thing he ever had to experience. Even more so than being shot at.

“This is my real life. I just ran into this place and we built this big, beautiful mansion of a relationship that wasn’t totally built on the 100% truth, and then it starts cracking,” Jay-Z once said according to Entertainment Weekly. “Things start happening that the public can see. Then we had to get to a point of ‘OK, tear this down, and let’s start from the beginning.’ It’s hard. Remember we just talked about me: I’m from Marcy Projects. I’ve been shot at. But nothing is harder than this. By far. I’m telling you, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Most humans, us, you know what I mean? We’re not willing to put ourselves through that. Most people give up,” Jay-Z said.

What hit Jay-Z the hardest was seeing Beyoncé physically getting away from him. Her departure ruined a great time between the hip-hop artist and his friends. It made him realize he never wanted his wife to leave him for good.

“I was on a boat, and I had the best time. I was like, ‘Man, this is great.’ Then she had to leave,” he said. “I was, like, crushed. I was like, ‘Man, I don’t ever feel like this. What is happening to my body right now?’ I was like, ‘Don’t go.’ I was like, ‘Did I just say … all this is new for me. Don’t leave.”

Why Jay-Z fought so hard for his marriage

For Jay-Z, it didn’t seem that giving up on his marriage was an option. He wanted to mend his marriage with his wife, not only because he loved her, but also to set a better example for his family.

“That’s my soul mate. It’s the person I love,” Jay-Z once said on CNN. “If you haven’t experienced love or don’t understand it or have the tools to move forward then you will have complications. Period.”

“You can either address it or pretend until it blows up at some point. For us, we chose to fight for our love, for our family to give our kids a different outcome — to break that cycle for black men and women,” he added.

The rapper also gave his own theories as to why other couples didn’t fight as hard for their marriages.

“You know, most people walk away, and like divorce rate is like 50% or something ’cause most people can’t see themselves. The hardest thing is seeing pain on someone’s face that you caused, and then have to deal with yourself,” Jay-Z told The New York Times.